CHEERIOS

i'm going on a 3 week hiatus and i'm not sure if i'll get a chance to update anything. so MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! be good while i'm gone. ;p

SAFE MODE

i'm typing away at my blog entry and i glance down under the posting window to see three slightly peculiar words: enter safe mode. and i think, wouldn't it be great if we could have that in real life? just press a button and enter the safe mode where none of life's bad stuff can get at you. in the safe mode, you can avoid all of satan's attacks, you can be free from all the pain and suffering in this world - you can reach for your dreams without the risk of falling or failing. and then i realize that as Christians, we live in dangerous mode, fighting daily battles. yet ultimately, we do live in safe mode. because of Christ, we are hidden in God. He keeps us safe. He protects us from harm. in His will, we can accomplish much.

as Christians, we have so much reason to celebrate today - Jesus' birthday - the day safe mode was made possible. :>

For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.
~Colossians 3:3~

NOT ALONE

how easy it is to slip into self-pity. tonight, over dinner, i was mulling over in my head how it seems like everyone has parties to go to and i'm sitting at home by myself. but then i realized that i am privileged to be surrounded by family, to have good meals to eat and to have a nice home to live in. i've had two whole weeks off already and i've spent plenty of that time catching up with friends. i just did all my partying earlier than everyone else. ;>

i'm sorry, God, for insulting You, for not appreciating all You've blessed me with. even if i were to live by myself on the streets, the knowledge of Your saving grace is reason enough to praise You forever.

Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
~Ephesians 5:19-20~

SEPARATION ANXIETY

i want time to stop. it's just over 48 hours before i leave the country to go to asia with my parents and i don't want to go. i've been looking forward to this trip for almost a year and now that it's on my doorstep, i want it to go away. i won't play dumb and say i don't know why. i know exactly why. because going means i will have to face winter term when i come back. going means that my time of rest is over. going also means i won't get to see a lot of people i want to see. and although it'll only be three weeks, i know i will not be the same person when i return.

ah wells. time will not stop. i will have to face another crazy term of busyness. and i will have to change. my only comfort is this: God goes with me.

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
~Deuteronomy 31:8~

O COME, O COME EMMANUEL

O come, Desire of nations, bind

In one the hearts of all mankind;

Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,

And be Thyself our King of Peace.

how fitting a prayer for our nations today.

Pray for the peace of Jerusalem:
"May those who love you be secure.
May there be peace within your walls
and security within your citadels."
~Psalm 122:6-7~

FINDING FAITH

"when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"
Luke 18:8

what do you do when you've coached a team of young people to present a drama for the Christmas outreach dinner only to watch all their hard work and preparation vanish because a microphone didn't work and there wasn't enough experience to know how to deal with it? is it enough to say that God sees the heart and knows just how much we wanted glory for Him? is it enough to realize that we gave our best? do we mourn the loss of an opportunity? is it possible to believe that despite "blowing it," God could still use us to touch hearts? have i failed God?

my human self would have me beat myself up over not preparing them well enough. but looking through the eyes of grace, i resolve to believe that God is still sovereign. i do not know what i can find faith. maybe if i focus on His nail-scarred hands...

The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!"
~Luke 17:5~

HEART CRIES :: WAR CRIES

went to see The Lord of The Rings: The Two Towers this afternoon (yes, i'm a nerd, seeing it opening day). i'm not gonna do a movie review (because i like the book better) but i am gonna share a little insight i gained from the experience.

about a month ago, i read the book Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. in it, he talks about how deep within the heart of any man, there is a desire to fight a battle. while i am not a man (nor do i claim to begin to remotely understand one), i caught a glimpse of that fire within as i watched the movie. seeing the men all lined up along the walls at Helm's Deep, bracing thunder and lighting and bravely facing the oncoming army of 10,000, i felt a sense of admiration swell up in my soul. at that moment, i recognized that distinct difference between the heart of a man and a heart of a woman. i also saw a little piece of what war in the heavenlies might be like: forces of good against the forces of evil. perhaps even a bit like the war described in Revelation 12. for me, the battle scene illustrated our spiritual battle. this is why we must pray diligently. but we also pray with faith. for just as in the trilogy, good ultimately emerges victorious.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
~Ephesians 6:12~

OUR DEEPEST FEAR

i used to have this posted outside my res door until it fell off and someone took it or threw it out... but it's inspired me every time i read it. :>

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the Glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone, and as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~Nelson Mandela~

...that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life...
~Philippians 2:15-16~

ETHNO-WORSHIP

last friday, one of my favourite former sunday school teachers came to speak to our fellowship about her mission project and where God's leading her. she spoke about ethnomusicology (the study of different cultures' music) and how it related to worship. her role in reaching the nations is to study the music of a culture and use that music to bring people closer to Christ.

one key term she used was heart language. she said that while many people in the world can speak another language (eg. english), the gospel is not real and relevant to them unless it is in their heart language. this applies especially to the Bible. people are not as likely to read the word of God when it isn't in their heart language. this makes sense, because why would you want to worship a God who doesn't even speak your own language?

having worship music in a people's heart language is also important because western worship songs might not relate or might give the wrong impression of God. for example, in a small tribe, a missionary once found the people singing "The Wise Man Built His House Upon A Rock" because it was one of the few songs they knew. the catch was, only one person in the whole tribe had ever SEEN a rock! another example: in certain parts of Africa, the word "fortress" has an evil connotation because they used to kidnap tribes and hold them in fortresses until they could be shipped off as slaves. in this case, you do not want to teach the song "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God."

these were just a few things that captured my mind from her talk. i'm just so amazed at how wonderfully diverse God created us to be. one verse she also shared with us was from Isaiah 60. within those verses is an astounding picture of multicultural worship. the most beautiful thing is, each people group brings something different to the Throne.

"Lift up your eyes and look about you:
All assemble and come to you;
your sons come from afar,
and your daughters are carried on the arm.
Then you will look and be radiant,
your heart will throb and swell with joy;
the wealth on the seas will be brought to you,
to you the riches of the nations will come."
~Isaiah 60:4-5~

GRATITUDE

being thankful is an endless lesson. yet it's one of the most rewarding lessons. when you pause to think about all God has given you, it's astounding.

in an article i read over the weekend, the author wrote that when you turn your heart to a position of thankfulness
...you become aware that God's great gift of Jesus Christ was given not only for everyone, but for you. You belong. God has made a space for you. Whether you live or die, you belong to the Lord. A joyous surge stirs in you and you want to bow in humble gratitude.

in other words, just as we have a God shaped hole in our hearts, God has an us shaped hole in His heart! what a thought!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son...
~John 3:16a~

SEASON FOR LOVE?

it seems like i was just doing my homework and when i looked up, all these couples had popped up.
-- an aptly spoken comment by a friend

there must be something in the water
-- the response from another friend

this past semester, it seems like so many people found their "soul mate." at least, a lot of people around me have. admittedly, all this happy news has left me with much joy but not without also an intense conversation with my Creator:

me: God, i know you'll bring the right person to me when i'm ready.
God: yes.
me: so will i ever be ready?
[silence]
am i not good enough?
[silence]
i'm not good enough.
God: i *died* for you, didn't i?
me: [looking down uneasily] yes...
God: look at the sky. i created a spectacular sunset for you tonight.
[i look out the window]
can't you see i'm romancing you?
me: it *is* beautiful.
God: *you* are beautiful. why do you doubt Me?
[more silence]
me: [breaking down] i'm so selfish and bitter, God. there's still so much refining you have to do in me. i'm afraid i'll never be ready.
[He doesn't speak. gently, He holds me in His arms in an eternal embrace.]

O LORD, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.

You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my every thought when far away.

You chart the path ahead of me
and tell me where to stop and rest.
Every moment you know where I am.

You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, LORD.

You both precede and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to know!

I can never escape from your spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!

If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there.

If I ride the wings of the morning,
if I dwell by the farthest oceans,
even there your hand will guide me,
and your strength will support me.

I could ask the darkness to hide me
and the light around me to become night--
but even in darkness I cannot hide from you.

To you the night shines as bright as day.
Darkness and light are both alike to you.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother's womb.

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous--and how well I know it.

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.

You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed. They are innumerable!

I can't even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up in the morning,
you are still with me!
~Psalm 139:1-18 (TLB)~

THE BRIDGE

God is super.

and i am super sore. :p

after my exam on saturday, i went straight to my church to finish building a "set" for our chinese outreach. it was a relatively simple set. a "bridge" made of particle board and latex paint had already been built the sunday before. all that was left to do was a row of grass to line the front of the stage and frame the bridge. theoretically, that seemed simple enough. just paint the grass on cardboard, cut it out with an x-acto knife and add some shadows and highlights. yeah. only 7 hours of squatting! lol. and 30+ feet of grass wasn't that easy to cut, either. :T

but it was ALL worth it. every little muscle strain. last night, when over 70 new families came to hear the gospel and a seemingly endless stream of people lined up to cross the bridge as a symbol of their commitment to Christ, all of us who'd worked so hard to put the night together could not help but smile and hold back the tears. Spirit-filled is the only way i can describe it. another thing that encouraged me was the way our church worked in unity. even though i'm from the english congregation and the outreach was in chinese, i still felt such a sense of belonging. my heart is truly overflowing with praise. :>

How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!
~Psalm 133:1~

LALALA

free -- at last. for now. lol.

In my anguish I cried to the LORD , and he answered by setting me free.
~Psalm 118:5~

RESTLESS

the thing about going through any intense period of stress is that when it's all over, you don't know what to do with yourself. it's a contradictory combination of not wanting to do anything, having lots to do, wanting to sleep all day and not wanting to sleep all day. in ways, it feels like grieving. but there isn't one particular person to keep thinking about. i guess i haven't been *still* for so long that i need to re-learn how to appreciate it.

sometimes, my thoughts scare myself. they make me wonder if i'm actually crazy. and if i'm not crazy, how close am i to crossing the line?... i feel so fragile. i need Rest.

"Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest-"
~Psalm 55:6~

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the LORD has been good to you.
~Psalm 116:7~

FROM YESTERDAY

so what i wrote yesterday was too long to post. alors, here it is in two parts.

ONE-STONE LIVING

the craziness is over!!! praise God that i did not get sick or have any major emotional or spiritual breakdowns. the last five days has brought me many lessons that i just didn't have time to post so i guess i'll post them now (and you can read them at your leisure).

God's abounding grace
no matter how many times it's happened before, one thing that always amazes me is the way God multiplies my time when i stop doubting and allow Him to do His work through me despite my busy schedule. last friday, when my mom was driving me back home from res, she informed me that i would have to add buying primer and priming some boards to my to-do list on saturday. my dad was supposed to prime the boards for a set for our church outreach but he'd run out of paint so i had to go buy some and finish the painting. while i already had laundry, making dinner, finishing an essay, reading a play, doing a drawing assignment and going to a potluck dinner on my list, i still said yes to my mom, knowing that if i didn't do it, it really wouldn't get done. i only prayed that God would be just and see that i was only doing this for Him. and He was merciful. i completed everything i needed to do in time. it took me until sunday, but i got everything done and none of my assignments were late.

God's tangible love
our fellowship took its monthly trip down to the ICC soup kitchen tonight. while talking to one of the men we were serving, he said, "the love of one beautiful woman makes the world a better place." and i replied (out of the Spirit's revelation, i'm sure), "that's because it's a reflection of God's love." i'm still trying to understand what i said. :p

God's infinite patience
one of my favourite lessons came at the potluck on saturday. it was the first time i was meeting the worship team i'm "advising" for the next few months. i'm about five years older than the team members but i know for certain that they will teach me possibly more than i will teach them. anyway, during our time of sharing, one of the guys told us about something he'd learned at one of his church's bible studies. he asked us a question relating to the story of david and goliath. we know that after david tried on saul's armour and felt too clumsy and uncomfortable in it, he took his sling and went down to the river to gather five stones. he took a shot with the first stone and it hit goliath in the head, killing him. without faith in God, david could not have killed goliath. the question is this: if david had faith that God would give him victory, why did he pick up five stones?
our challenge, then, is to live one-stone lives. lives full of faith. or as i like to say, lives where it's God or nothing.

He restores my soul.
~Psalm 23:3~

ALIVE

i typed up a great post last night but for some reason, blogger won't let me post or publish it. so we'll see if this one makes it up there.

i came across this interesting observation in one of the plays i had to read for my exam. it's from Look Back In Anger by John Osborne:

They all want to escape from the pain of being alive. And, most of all, from love. It's no good trying to fool yourself about love. You can't fall into it like a soft job, without dirtying up your hands. It takes muscle and guts.

just some food for thought.

Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about."
~Genesis 22:2~

DEEP 'N' DELICIOUS WORDS

just pausing my essay writing to post a verse my friend sent to me today. Life is hard. And God is good.

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign LORD is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains.
~Habakkuk 3:17-19~

ANGELS ALL AROUND ME

How sweet it is to be loved by you.

i love my fellowship at York.
i was mad at myself for sleeping in this morning and messing up my schedule for the day when i went to prayer meeting this evening. completely stressed and frazzled, it was difficult for me to focus. my mind was constantly wandering to all the work that sat in front of me. it felt like all the pressure from school was clouding my vision of God. i felt disconnected. but simply being there in a room full of people interceding and hearing the prayers of my friends for me let me know deep inside that God was indeed there. it was beyond words. and i think God understood what my tears were trying to pray, too.

my thoughts are rather disjointed tonight but it amazes me the way God uses His children to literally bring a touch of healing into others' lives. after the prayer meeting, one of my friends gave me a hug. and i knew that at that moment, God was also hugging me and wrapping me in His arms. so my friend, if you ever happen to read this, thank you. your touch encouraged me more than you'll ever know.

...6 more days to go.

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
~2 Chronicles 16:9~

GOD'S HUMOUR

after complaining about not wanting to go home to do work yesterday, and actually going home to do work, i can't help but laugh at my own silliness and God's provision. last night, my parents had friends over and they brought their two little girls with them. it's been a long time since i've "chilled" with kids. and it was such a treat. i still got my homework done, but it was just so much more enjoyable with their company. i was making little model figures for my set maquette so i let them have some modelling clay to play with. so the three of us sat around, playing with clay all night. it was definitely an unexpected gift from Daddy. :> made me know that things are gonna be alright. no stress ... just like a child. :>

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
~Isaiah 41:10~

PEACE

i am now officially in the last major crunch of the semester. i spent 10 1/2 hours on my set design project in the studio yesterday (not including 5 or so hours of work for other courses). and i still have so much left to finish before our presentations start on tuesday! i want to stay at school this weekend but i can't. i feel like school's more than i can handle even if it were the only thing on my plate... but alas, i have multiple other things going on outside of school that eat up my time as well... anywho, all this to say that i might not be posting updates for a short while (the craziness ends dec 7).

it's in times like these that i know that the strength i live on does not and cannot come from me. even the most disciplined time managing go-getter would be burned out. i've come to know the sweetness of the morning silence spent with God - no matter how short it may be. to be honest, the number of tasks in front of me is daunting and i'm afraid at times. but i have peace, knowing that i don't walk this road alone. actually, i think that that is one of the most assuring things anyone can hear - that there is company in this journey. :>

well, it's back to the books. to everyone who's in crunch mode too: take care of yourself and remember to eat well (the Word!).

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...
And be thankful.
~Colossians 3:15~

100 ACRE WOODS

i just spent four nights living in a hotel in Florida where things are so extravagant that their sewing kits come in aluminum tins, the maids come in twice a day and the going rate for a room is $500 US/night. and it was all paid for - an award trip from my parents' company. :) but looking out over the hotel grounds from our balcony, i couldn't help but feel the grotesqueness of it all. the energy used to light and heat the building for a day would probably be enough to power a small country in europe for a week! all the opulence was pretty but it felt so hollow. all i could think was, "this isn't real life." real life is out on the streets. real life is the people in the soup kitchen who know what it is to live the human experience with no fancy trappings. real life is being in touch with God.

being in Disneyworld wasn't much better. for all the messages of hope and world peace, it still stunk of materialism and commercialism. it was a very nice trip and definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience but i'm glad to be home, back in my little corner of reality. back where sandwiches don't cost $8 and where trees are planted outside, not inside. where things are more-or-less natural.

I have strayed like a lost sheep.
Seek your servant,
for I have not forgotten your commands.
~Psalm 119:176~

LAUGHTER...

...is the best medicine. our ccf tonight held our program on humour. and oh, how hilarious it was! from colouring bible story pictures with pencil crayons to making up raps to our stories, it was so nice to be able to let loose and go crazy. :> yep, it was a wonderful time of fun and fellowship. and a lovely reminder of God's gifts to us.

Every good and perfect gift is from above coming down from the Father of Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
~James 1:17~

REMEMBERING

11:11am - the middle of drawing class. a minute of silence to remember.

remembering those who gave their lives for our freedom.

remembering the One who gave His life for my Freedom.

But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation–
~Colossians 1:22~

FOLLOWING THE HUMBLE KING

Oh kneel me down again here at Your feet,
Show me how much You love humility,
Oh spirit be the star that leads me to
The humble heart of love I see in You;

'Cause You are the God of the broken,
Friend of the weak,
You wash the feet of the weary,
embrace the ones in need,
I want to be like You, Jesus,
To have this heart in me;
You are the God of the humble,
You are the Humble King.

the past two days have been wave after wave of God showing me the brokenness of our human condition. last night, at the International Christian Centre, our fellowship went to serve food to the people at the soup kitchen. there were more people there than usual and a number of us had some very meaningful conversations with the people there. usually, we leave at about 9:30 or 10:00 but last night, we stayed until at least 10:30, if not later. by the end of the night it was such a lesson in putting myself aside simply because i was so tired and hungry. but while we were waiting for the last few conversations and prayers to finish, we sang some songs. Humble King was one of them. i'd never sang that song with so much heart and understanding before. it wasn't until i was weak, tired and hungry that i saw how Jesus came to serve me and all those around me who were weaker, more tired and hungrier than i.

then, in class today, my friend mentioned that she would have been a mom by now had it not been for a miscarriage. and she probably wouldn't be in my classes had that not happened. i don't know how to put my thoughts and feelings into words other than that my heart weeps for her.

my third lesson in brokenness came a little later today. another friend of mine is struggling with something and i was asked to help. i felt completely inadequate to help (and still feel that way). the best i can offer are my ears and Jesus Christ.

Lord, teach me how to love.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
~1Peter 4:8~

FOREVER AND ALWAYS

God is good. just when i start losing sight of my value in His eyes, He sends me two conversations in a day to reaffirm His view of me. i really don't deserve to be treated so well. ;>

He knows my name,
He knows my every thought,
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call.

soup kitchen run tomorrow... we'll see what this visit brings. :>

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
~Luke 12:7~

OBSERVATION

something i noticed lately in my converstions with friends: my friends are more concerned about my health and wellbeing than i am. just a thought. :>

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
~1 John 4:11~

FIRST SNOWFALL

friendships are the most interesting things. how is it that two people can share a connection such that any action that either of them makes will affect both of them? how is it that the mere presence of a good friend can still anxieties and calm fears? maybe because each of us is afraid of loneliness that we appreciate company when we have it and seek it out when we don't.

yesterday was one of the toughest days i've gone through in a very long time. emotionally raw and exhausted both physically and mentally, my day ran from 7am-2am non-stop. i'd slept over at my best friend's place on thursday so i had to ttc it back to school, get ready for class, make it through 4 hours of costuming, ttc it from York to Scarbough, go through rehearsal, lead worship for Mike Clemon's speaking event and go out for food with the rest of the worship team. but somehow, through it all, i know that God still used me to touch people - despite my being in shambles. i know that i was not alone because i had people praying for me. and i know that even when things don't make sense, they will.

Why should I feel discouraged, Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, And long for heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me,
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
~Civilla D. Martin

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD , endures forever-
do not abandon the works of your hands.
~Psalm 138:8~

CRYSTALLINE LENS

i'm currently working on a paper about the eye and how it sees. and i like the term crystalline lens. it just sounds cool. :>

anyway, i don't have much to write about today other than a brief comment on how it's so easy to procrastinate your time away... :p and how much easier it is to procrastinate when you have internet access. yep, that's how life's going right now.

...trying to claim the victory of the Cross for my life.

Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise!
~Proverbs 6:6~
oiy...!

DIVINE APPOINTMENTS

i had a most interesting day yesterday. first, i got to have lunch with a new friend who's looking for God. we had an awesome conversation about God and various aspects of who He is. then, on my way down to the Toronto Reference Library, i bumped into a girl who was in my program in first year but hadn't come back. i hadn't seen her since then so it was a huge surprise for me to bump into her again. the coolest thing was that when she saw me, she told me that she'd just been thinking about me the other day. needless to say, we exchanged numbers and hopefully, we can keep in touch. finally, last night, just as i was drifting off to dreamland, i got a phone call from another friend who needed my help. during that conversation, part of me wanted to hang up because i was so tired. but i knew that i was just being selfish. so yeah, God's been teaching me that whatever circumstances He brings to me, i am to serve Him there.

another neat anecdote i meant to post on wednesday... our ccf's been meeting in a classroom every week. the only thing is, we hadn't actually booked it through the school. so technically, we could have been kicked out. anyway, this week, i thought that i'd live up to my responsibilities and actually book the room for the rest of the semester. so i handed in the form on monday, figuring that with 7 business days of processing, we should be cleared for the room by next week's meeting. wednesday morning, i received a call from the lady at the office. she informed me that we couldn't get the room we requested, but they were giving us another room that would hold the same number of people. i thanked her but in the back of my head, i was unhappy. the room we'd been meeting in was good! why couldn't we have it? and then, God convicted me: don't you trust me that i'll give you the best? you haven't even seen the new room yet, why are you complaining? i had to admit, He caught me. when i went to check out the new room, i realized that i was better for our purposes. *sigh*

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
~James 1:17~

VERSE OF THE DAY

i subscribe to this verse of the day thing and today's was quite good. so i thought i'd post it here as a piece of encouragement:

THOUGHT:
I feel so burdened myself, that sometimes I can't even see
others burdens. But Jesus reminds me that if I am to be like him,
I will be a burden carrier. This is why he came, why he died, and
why his resurrection is so important -- to lift from us the burdens
of sin, death, and depravity. He has blessed us by carrying our
heaviest burdens so that we might lighten the load of those around
us.

PRAYER:
Compassionate Father, help me to see the burdens in the lives of
others around me and then respond to those burdens with help. I
want to be a blessing to the broken and discouraged, so please help
me find my place and my way of serving to your glory. In Jesus'
name. Amen.

Carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the
law of Christ.
~Galatians 6:2~

THOUGHT

conquering the self is the most difficult thing.

it's a battle no one knows but me.
no one sees it.
no one hears it.
no one can grapple with it but myself.
and no one can help me win or lose.
it's an internal struggle for faith.
and the more i fight, the more i see my weakness.

it's a cry for grace.

but underneath it all, there is joy.
i know i can never fall beyond His reach.
or fail beyond His forgiveness.

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
~Psalm 139:7-8~

CHALLENGES

it's been a while since i've updated anything here... school's insanely busy despite the fact that i don't have midterms. i dunno how that works but each day is packed chock-full of ongoing assignments. and i think the weather's gettin to me 'cuz i have an overwhelming urge to sleep pretty much every moment i'm awake - not very conducive to accomplishing anything. anyway, i wanted to post a little update on what God's been teaching me this past week.

recently, God's been intensifying my burden to reach my friends at school; particularly my three suitemates and seven classmates (yes, i only have an 8 person class). i have been trying to get an investigative bible study going but to no avail since no one has shown up for the past two weeks. after much thought, i've boiled it all down to two areas of challenge.

firstly, i have much fear. i know in my head how to invite my friends to come to the bible studies and i've had ample opportunities to do so, but my mouth feels glued shut. the culprit: fear. it's even more frustrating when i know it's fear and know i have nothing to fear, yet i still am immobilized by it. i have a huge passion to see them discover Christ, but it seems like even that is not enough to open my mouth. i told my church counsellor about it last night and she encouraged me by telling me to keep trying. the time will come, she said. that's what i pray.

secondly, i have forgotten the basics of prayer. God gave me a wake-up call through my devotional material the other day when the writer pointed out that Jesus is the Lord of the harvest. it's up to Him when things will happen. we need to have faith and keep praying in the face of apparent lack of movement on God's part.

The key to the missionary problem is in the hand of God, and that key is prayer not work, that is, not work as the word is popularly understood today because that may mean the evasion of conentration on God. Prayer does not fit us for the greater works; prayer is the greater work. Whichever way God engineers circumstances, the duty is to pray.
~Oswald Chambers~
i overestimate my powers and underestimate God's. how i desperately need God's grace!

Pray ye therefore to the Lord of the harvest, that He wil send forth labourers into His harvest.
~Matthew 9:38~

THANKSGIVING

blast from the past... the following is sung to the tune of Eidelweiss from the Sound of Music:

Thank you Lord, on this day,
for our many good blessings.
Thank you Lord, on this day,
for our many good friendships.
Glory to God, may you hear our prayer,
Guide us on forever.
Thank you Lord, on this day,
for our blessings and friendships.

TIMELY ANSWER

something i keep struggling with is being wholly satisfied in Christ. it's like, some days, the world is golden and i don't want anything other than what i have. other days, i feel like i have to fight myself because my yearning for a companion is so deep. on one hand, i know that Christ is the only one who will not let me down and in whom i will find full satisfaction. but on the other hand, i am also keenly aware of my desire for human company. i couldn't figure out how to reconcile the apparent dichotomy... until this morning.

my pastor was finishing a series of sermons about "the 'I' and the 'We'." and today, he started off his sermon by explaining that God made Adam and Eve to be in community with each other. i almost laughed when i heard that because here was this fundamental idea that i'd totally forgotten (or disregarded). and here was the answer i'd been searching for.

God gave me a hug this morning. a much-needed, fully-encouraging hug. :>

The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
~Genesis 2:18~

WITNESS

Witness is not a verb. You don't go witnessing, you ARE a witness.

i heard this about five years ago at a student conference. and today, i was reminded of it again in a conversation with my friend.

i spent most of my day drafting in our classroom/studio. being in a class of eight girls makes for many conversations and lots of silliness. but anyway, my friend made a comment today that really made me think. she said, "the world needs more cool Christians like you... people who don't just condemn everything..." and then she said, "i admire you. you have so much confidence in yourself. i was just telling my friend about you the other day. how you always seem to know who you are, where you're going, what you're doing..." and i realized that i do know who i am and where i'm going. i know because of Christ! i realized that even though i hadn't preached the gospel to her, God is drawing her closer to Himself. i continue to pray that one day soon, i will have the opportunity to explain the Reason for my confidence and that she will be able to recieve it as her own.

Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day he visits us.
~1 Peter 2:12~

PALMS-UP LIVING

here's another posting i've been meaning to write for a long time...

back in the summer, i was at a worship service and the worship leader lead a "palms-up/palms-down" prayer. with our hands lifted with the palms up, we prayed for blessings and grace. with our palms down, we gave up our sins and worries. while i thought this was an interesting way of physically illustrating our interaction with God, i've been thinking more about what it means to live with my palms up.

to me, having my palms up signals a position of giving and receiving. with my palms up, i can offer up to God all that i have, whether it be my gifts, talents, anxieties or sins. and there, i am also in a place to receive God's word, blessings, grace and forgiveness. when i stand with my empty hands turned upwards, it symbolizes my nakedness in front of God; i have nothing to bring to Him other than myself as i am. last weekend, during a time of worship, God revealed a new meaning to me. when my palms are up, my hands cannot be closed in a fist. i cannot lift my palms like this. i must let go of my grasp on all the things my human nature wants to keep. i must open my hands and let God take or give as He chooses. it doesn't mean i will lose everything i have. it means that God has complete control. it's surrender.

I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands.
~Psalm 63:4~

STRANDED

I lift my eyes up to the mountains,
where does my help come from?
My help comes from You, Maker of Heaven,
Creator of the earth.
Oh how I need you Lord, You are my only hope,
You're my only prayer,
So I will wait for You to come and rescue me,
Come and give me life.

last night, while i was driving home on the highway, my car broke down. by God's grace, i had enough momentum in my car to pull onto the shoulder of an offramp before it stopped moving completely. i was driving alone and it was about 9:30pm. i had enough batteries in my cell phone to call home and tell my dad where i was. after that, i could only sit in the darkness, wait and pray. i was quite frustrated when the phone died but in the midst of my chaotic mind, Psalm 121 broke through. He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber....so i will wait for You to come and rescue me.

about half an hour later, a tow truck came by and the driver was nice enough to let me use his cell phone. i contacted my dad again and he told me that my mom was on her way to find me (as i'd taken my dad's car that night). not long after that, my mom arrived and we could finally sort things out.

in the process of it all, i learned that the tow truck driver was out to catch unsuspecting victims and charge exhorbitant amounts for the service. when i asked him how much his fees were, he explained that if the OPP got to my car and ordered him to tow it out of the way, it would be $150. if we wanted him to tow our car before the police got there, it would be $75 for the hook up and $2/km thereafter. the regular rate should have been somewhere between $30-$40. needless to say, we kept with my dad's friend's towing service.

in the end, i got home 1 1/2 hours later than i'd expected with a few important lessons learned:
- God is faithful. don't doubt Him.
- always go to the bathroom before you leave 'cuz you never know how long you might have to wait
- i need a new cell phone battery
- don't trust highway tow truck drivers. they prowl around looking for prey. (reminds me of someone else in this world who does this on a spiritual level...)

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.
~1 Peter 5:8-9~

BLIND AND DEAF

"Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content."
~Helen Keller

i picked up Helen Keller's autobiography while i was at the browsing the shelves at the library today (yesh, i'm a nerd...). i've heard so much about her life and her courage in the face of losing her sight and hearing at the age of one, but i'd never actually read her story. so anyway, it hasn't inspired countless numbers of people for no reason.

i've always had a fascination for people who function without their senses of sight and hearing and reading her story backed my belief that people without those senses are so much more observant than the rest of us who have all our senses. throughout the book, she keeps remarking about the beauty that is in the world and in nature. her wonder at the world is so rare and inspiring.

anywho, i'll keep this posting short and leave you with a passage i thought was quite insightful...

..."in college, there is no time to commune with one's thoughts. One goes to college to learn, it seems, not to think. When one enters the portals of learning, one leaves the dearest pleasures - solitude, books and imagination - outside with the whispering pines."

"What do you want me to do for you?" Jesus asked him. The blind man said, "Rabbi, I want to see."
~Mark 10:51~

TORN

if you're reading this to be encouraged, today's posting might not be the one for you. i have some venting to do... but who knows, maybe you'll be encouraged knowing that you're not the only one struggling in this life? :T

there were moments today when i wanted to shut off the sound in the world; i was so frustrated at the things i was hearing. it was mostly what a couple of my friends were discussing. one of my friends recently got a boyfriend and the other one has had various relationships over the three years i've known her. anyway, they were talking about their boys and pretty much comparing them. their words were not specific in any way, but the innuendo was so explicit. part of me was disgusted and part of me was sad. disgusted because i really did not want to hear their conversation. sad because i knew that at the heart of the matter, they're both trying to find security in relationships that only Christ can fulfill. and yet they're both so adverse to Jesus. it makes me want to cry.

on the other hand, hearing my friend mention that the chocolates she had were from her boyfriend slightly stung my heart. i know there are other girls (and guys) who have promised God to leave this whole department to His timing so it's not a solitary journey. but her comment stirred a desire in me. it also sent me running to the cross. i know that clinging to the nail-scarred hands is the only way i'll pass through this darkness in safety.

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
~Philippians 4:8~

SING PRAISE

wow, where did these last few days go? it's saturday again and the last time i posted something was tuesday?!

aaaanywho... BBT Revolution was this weekend. i don't think i've sang this much in a loooong time. three worship sets in two days - plus a singing lesson! :p yep, i'm pooped. but a happy and satisfied pooped. :>

been challenged to rethink servant leadership again... last night was the third time in the last six days that John 13 was brought to my attention. it's the passage where Jesus washed his disciples' feet. God doesn't do anything by coincidence so he's really got me thinkin. :> it's quite possibly a reminder to give up my pride (again). 'cuz pride has this nasty habit of slipping into my mind if i'm not conscious of keeping it away. i think i've also forgotten to serve the people i lead. *sigh* i'm so thankful for God's grace. my brain handles so little and He challenges me with so much. :T

Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine!
Oh what a foretaste of glory divine,
Heir of salvation, purchase of God,
Born of His Spirit, washed in His blood!

This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Saviour all the day long!
This is my story, this is my song,
Praising my Saviour all the day long!

Once more the humble will rejoice in the LORD ;
the needy will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.
~Isaiah 29:19~

SPASTIC SHEEP AND OTHER STUFF

two separate ideas to write about today. but both just as meaningful...

--Spastic Sheep--
another poignant illustration by Louie Giglio this past saturday: baby sheep are spastic. full of energy and joy, they bounce around and literally run into their mothers. the sobering thought is this: if they don't get fed, they will die.

--A Night In The Woods--
i heard this story on the radio maybe a month ago but i never got around to typing it up.
the rite of passage in a certain society required that the young person spend the night out in the forest amidst the bears and wild animals by himself. as evening approached, the child would be taken out into the wilderness, where a circle would be inscribed in the ground in which he would have to stay for the night. he would be left alone and as night fell, the sounds of the night would cry out in the darkness. as terrified as the child was, he could not leave his place. he had to face his fear and try to rest in spite of it. as dawn came and the sunlight broke through the trees, the child's eyes would open to the truth: his Daddy had been with him the whole night, standing just outside the circle with his bow and arrow drawn, ready to protect his child from any danger.

He who watches over you will not slumber.
~Psalm 121:3~

SNACKTIME WITH JESUS

life is hard, but God is good.

last night, i heard one of the most encouraging messages on Jesus and the feeding of the 5,000. Louie Giglio shared his insights with us during the final session of the Worship Together Conference. he explained that when Jesus asked his disciples how they thought the people would be fed, He was merely testing them. the disciples wanted to come up with some brilliant plan to save the day, but in the end, they only managed to present a meager snack of bread and fish (which they'd probably bullied off of a poor kid in the crowd). it's what Jesus did with the snack that was the most interesting. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. (Matt. 14:19) Jesus blessed it, broke it and multiplied it. the blessing and breaking happened together before it could be used to nourish the people.

in the same way, Jesus sometimes asks us how we propose to feed the multitudes. we want to say we have these mind-shattering plans, and we come to realize all we have is embarrassingly little. but He graciously accepts whatever "snack" we can give him - even if it's nothing but ourselves. then, He blesses us and breaks us and sends us out there to feed the crowds. the best part is that from the very first moment, Jesus already knows what He is going to do. He doesn't need us for anything yet He involves us anyway.

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, "Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?" He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.
~John 6:5-6~

LIVING LIFE | LOVING LIFE

this evening, i attended a memorial service for one of my profs. he died unexpectedly last wednesday of a brain aneurysm. i had him for one semester in first year, but i never really got to know him. being there at the memorial and hearing all the stories about him sort of made me regret not dropping by to see him more. whenever he saw me in the halls, he'd always tell me, "don't be a stranger now!" but i guess i kept myself a stranger.

anyway, from the reflections of all the people who shared tonight, it was obvious that this man lived his life well. he had a passion for living and his positive attitude radiated out to touch countless numbers of people. person after person went up to share about how he had believed in them and by doing so, he taught them how to believe in themselves. they mentioned that he was so proud of all his students but he had a really humble heart (before becoming a theatre professor, he'd studied both medicine and law). he stood for things he believed in and he encouraged everyone around him, whether they were his students or his colleagues. he was a Jewish man, and although i didn't know him well, i would not be surprised if his qualities came from being close to God (but i don't know that as a fact).

here was a man who was unafraid to invest himself in the people around him. here was a man who knew how to love. here was a man who had actually lived.

i was challenged tonight. challenged to love the people around me more. challenged to seize each opportunity to connect. challenged to stand by my convictions. challenged to give my life away for the sake of Christ. why? 'cuz i saw the truth; that in giving my life away, i gain more than i could ever get by keeping it. 'cuz giving my life away gives rise to other lives.

one last thought from the service, it was spoken by one of the students:

Anatol taught us that what you do [for a living] does not equal to who you are; who you are is who you are.

For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for [Jesus] will save it.
~Luke 9:24~

SUN WITHOUT LIGHT PART II

so i did my lighting presentation today. it went over very well. my original idea was to build a flower that was black on the outside that would open up to reveal layers of coloured material - reminiscent of how sunlight slowly allows colour to be seen. i spent most of my weekend trying to find a way to build the flower so that it would close like a bud and open like it was blooming. by 11:30pm last night, i still hadn't found a way to construct it to my liking so out of desperation, i tried to think of other approaches. actually, by sunday night, i was already quite frustrated, but monday morning, i thought i came up with a solution (which later proved to be no good). anyway, while i was packing my stuff to go back to res, i happened to grab a coloured scarf and a yellow rose made of ribbon, just in case i could use it to fill my flower.

so last night, in my state of exhaustion, i ditched the flower idea and thought i'd keep it simple; i'd use my hands to hold the scarf and slowly open them to reveal the "sunrise." i have to explain my scarf, though. it's a chiffon-like shimmery material that gradates from purple to light purple to white to orange. so as i held the yellow rose, i wrapped the scarf around it so that when i opened my hands, it initially would be purple, then it would slowly progress to show the orange and finally, the rose.

the second component to my presentation was music. just like the scarf idea, the music was also God-given. on sunday, i met with a bunch of girls at my church to rehearse a body-worship we'll be presenting at tccc this coming sunday. the song we're working with is Shout To The Lord, a version by Chris Tomlin. while we were rehearsing, i realized that the introduction sounded like a sunrise(!). so i decided to include it with my presentation. in the end, the audio and visual elements connected beautifully and i was just so relieved and thankful when it was over. :>

in making this project, i was reminded of a couple things about God:
1. His creative powers are just soooooooooo great. while it took me three agonizing days to figure out i can't make a flower, He makes millions of them in a moment.
2. in using my hands to reveal the sunrise, i caught a glimpse of how God does that every morning when He opens His hands to reveal each day.

for all the frustration that went into it, i think that the experience was worth it. so i'm glad. :>

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
~Lamentations 3:22-23~

SUN WITHOUT LIGHT

second post in a day! (can u tell i'm bored?)

project of the moment: make a representation of a sunrise without using light. it's my first assignment of the year. ironically, it's for my lighting design class. ideas are very slow in coming. suggestions?

Light is sweet, and it pleases the eye to see the sun.
~Ecclesiastes 11:7~
one of my all-time favourite verses.

BABY STEPS

took my very first singing lesson this morning. man, i never knew i was so weak! or should i say, i never knew one had to be so strong to sing well! in any case, i have a lot of physical conditioning to do. my breath is short, my circulation is poor (which i always knew, i just didn't think it would affect singing that much) and i have no control over how much air i let out when i'm singing. blech. it's gonna be hard work, but i know i can't let myself stay at this skill level when i know there's such a long way of improvement in front of me. excellence for Christ, no?

Since you are eager to have spiritual gifts, try to excel in gifts that build up the church.
~1 Corinthians 14:12~

SILENCE

sometimes, God takes us to a place where it seems like everything is dark and we feel all lost and lonely. and then, contrary to what we expect him to do, he remains silent. the only thing we have to hold on to is the hope and assurance that in spite of everything, we have the promise of grace forever. the promise that he knows what he is doing.

this week has been one of those times for me. there's been a deep aching and emptiness in my heart that has washed over me in waves. true, there have been moments of happiness, but the prevailing emotion has been quite sombre. i do not know how to explain it, or what to attribute this pit to, but it's as if God has brought me here to deal with the bare essentials - namely, Him and me. in my weakness, i am forced to face the power and jealousy of God. He desires to be my strength, and my only strength. the challenge here is to die to myself.

You can't say Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you've got.

will i dare to live with just Jesus?

being refined by God is painful. but i pray that i will endure like Christ, for the joy set before me.

Put on the garments of praise,
for the spirit of heaviness,
Your joy is my strength alone, my strength alone.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
~Hebrews 12:2~

KICKOFF

first CCF meeting of the year. it was awesome seeing new faces and really nice seeing all the familiar faces. the scavenger hunt went swimmingly but i think the dinner was the best part. getting to chat and connect with the new people was the highlight of my night (and possibly my week!). i think that even though my role as chairperson is to be there for the people, i was the one who needed the fellowship the most tonight. i am so undeserving of this love. :)

But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.
~1 John 1:7~

AWESOME

i'm entirely wiped but i gotta put this update in before i burst. :> i just checked my email before shutting off my computer and i got this email from a girl i met at Teens Conference this past march. she was on the team i counselled and i had a joy of seeing her brought to Christ back then. since that week, i'd seen her a couple times and once in a while, i'd pray for her and wonder how she was doing in her walk with God. anyway, she emailed me today to tell me the awesome things God's been doing in her life and how she's trying to reach her high school for Christ now. wow. i'm soooooooo tired right now but i just can't stop smiling. :>

God, you are so good to me. who am i that You would choose to use me to reach this soul? who am i that You would show me Your faithfulness in continuing Your work despite the fact that i have failed to keep praying for her like i said i would? i stand in silent awe of You.

He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
~Philippians 1:6~

GOD

...God is bigger than the air I breathe...

a beautiful thing about God is that without fail, He works the most when we are at our weakest. our worship team this morning was put together last sunday. i'd previously worked with two out of the three members and the third member was new to our church. during rehearsal on friday, things sounded not quite together. and this morning, when we started practicing, we were totally not together. each person was doing his/her own thing. as the leader, i didn't know how i would be in a worshipful spirit, let alone engage the congregation in worship. after lifting everything up in prayer and confessing to God that He alone had to lead our worship, i still felt a bit uneasy. but God fully answered by allowing His presence to be felt during our service. one more item to add to God's faithfulness list. :>

now to see how He will show Himself at York this year...

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit;
a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
~Psalm 51:17~

IF I WERE AN ANIMAL...

while describing myself to one of my new suitemates, i realized that my description could very well fit that of a tropical fruit bat:

a) i love warm places. my ideal temperature range is 28-32 degrees celsius.
b) i love fruit. i could eat it all day. :p
c) i'm pretty much blind. my prescription is so high, it's embarassing.

so there u have it. three major similarities between myself an a tropical fruit bat. the only thing is, i don't like hanging upside down. ;p

anyway, it's been a pretty down week for me. being in a new res, not knowing anyone, and not being a heavy party-goer, it's been quite lonely. spiritually, it's thrown me off a little. i guess i've been struggling against self-pity to look beyond myself and find the heart to care for the few strangers around me. it also feels as if i'm in a place where God is silent, but i still know He's there. i am more aware of my weakness than ever, but i'm also more aware of being held and surrounded by the prayers of all my saint-friends. this is a new place for me.

boring is definitely not a word to be used in this walk with Jesus.

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.
With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.
~Ephesians 6:18~

FROSH - TAKE 2

*sigh* i never thought moving residences would feel so weird. i didn't realize how many friends i made in two years. anyway, i'm settled in now and i finally got my internet working in my room so i can finally update this page. it's taking me much longer than i want to, though, 'cuz Flo93 is here on campus playing something in the courtyard and the bass beats are incessant! ahhh, frosh week...

...boom boom boom... boom boom boom... arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anywho, i went to visit my uncle's grave today. it's been almost two years since he died. standing under the blue sky, embraced by sunshine, listening to the windchimes, i felt this serene peace as i watered the flowers at his headstone. i realized today that with all my friends who know Christ, even if i never see them again in this life, i still have eternity to spend with them. like, wow. because of Christ, not only are we restored back to God (!), we have forever to enjoy each other's company.

that's my encouraging thought for the day. :>

keep praying for my witness on campus. this is a crooked and depraved generation, indeed.

Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life...
Philippians 2:14-16

...signing off to the tunes of "I will survive"... yes, i will survive!

UNFATHOMABLE

how deep the Father's love for us,
how vast beyond all measure,
that He would give His only son,
to make a wretch His treasure.

eternity and a day would not be enough time for me to understand God's love. that a self-sufficient God - one who did not need anything outside of himself - would create, release and redeem a bunch of creatures who were destructive, rebellious, and faithless. and to go to all these lengths so that these creatures could spend the rest of time with Him! it is only by the sweet grace of God that we are loved.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast.
~Ephesians 2:8-9~

[note: correction to yesterday's post - Paul did not write the book of Hebrews. it was not written in his style. scholars suggest it was either written by Barnabas or Apollos.]

HEBREWS 11

the faith hall of fame. on the car ride home from St. Jacobs today, i had this urge to flip open to Hebrews. i intended to read chapter 10, but i ended up reading till chapter 12. one thought caught me in particular. after listing all the heros of the ages, paul writes,

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
~Hebrews 11:39-40~

God didn't give these people what they were promised! yet they still had faith. moreover, God didn't give these people what they were promised because He was waiting for us???!!! it's like, we're in this race where everyone who finishes gets a prize. but no one gets a prize until everyone finishes. so the people who finish early stand by the sidelines and cheer the rest of the runners on. and when the last person crosses the line, the party lasts forever. glorious. just glorious. no wonder the author goes on to write,

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
~Hebrews 12:1-3~

BEING REAL

its another thing to be able to be completely real and yourself with every single one of those people u know

we were discussing the pros and cons of having multiple circles of friends. how it's good because a large network allows you to connect people to the help they need. but also how it's tough because it's hard to keep yourself transparent in all circumstances. my friend's comment got me thinking about my own friends and acquaintances. if a classmate were to come hang out with me at fellowship, would they see the same person? if my christian friends were to drop in on me at work, would they recognize me? if my parents stayed with me in res...? i guess it all comes back to living Christ 24/7 and being acutely aware of it. or is it possible to be in such a habit of living Christ that one does not have to stop and evaluate anymore? hmm...

on a lighter note, i went to send my hair off yesterday. fourteen inches of black, braided hair. since the office is in florida, i had to declare what was inside the package. so, yeah, the customs label had "contents: hair". and it was marked as a gift. :p i can only hope that the customs inspector doesn't pass out. :)

The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.
~Proverbs 10:9~

WIND BENEATH MY WINGS

Faith must be tested, because it can be turned into a personal posession only through conflict.
Oswald Chambers

i don't know how many people prayed for me yesterday but i know someone was. it was weird. the dark cloud that was over me when i woke up in the morning slowly lifted as the day went on. it dawned on me in the afternoon that the emotional darkness was perhaps a part of the spiritual battle we're fighting. i saw my naivete in thinking that it would be smooth sailing - especially in the face of chairing our ccf and running investigative bible studies in res. so thanks to all who prayed for me. the battle's just beginning...

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
2 Corinthians 10:4

MORNING

woke up at 7:30 this morning. didn't get out of bed until 10:30. didn't want to get up. i dunno what it is, but i can't seem to get over this feeling of futility. i have so much to do in this next month but there's no motivation to do it. just want to curl up and sleep everything away. argh. need prayer.

"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 1:2

WISHING FOR HEAVEN

when i was younger, i'd go into this little pit of loneliness after a weekend church retreat, simply because i'd go from being surrounded by friends to being home alone with my parents. for some reason, i've hit that funk mood again. maybe it's 'cuz this summer has been so good. maybe it's 'cuz i know once school starts, the hanging out will dwindle to almost non-existence. maybe it's 'cuz i'm home alone tonight and everyone else is either out with friends or on vacation. in any case, it brings me back to my struggle to be content. it seems like no matter how much i am determined or how much i desire to be satisfied with Christ, i still have this nagging void. i wish for certain friendships, but i know that even if i were to have them, i would still feel the emptiness. it saddens me.

this world is not my home.

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.
2 Corinthians 5:6-9

post script:
while searching the keyword "home" on the bible online, i came across a most disturbing verse:

When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel.
Judges 19:29

if you read chapters 19-21, it traces the story behind the verse and the repercussions of the incident. the conclusion comes in the last verse of chapter 21:

In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.
Judges 21:25

sorta reminds me of some other time in history...

UNITED

this past thursday, friday and saturday, i experienced the body of Christ in a fresh and new way. if you've been following my updates here, you'd know that i was helping my mom do make-up for a chinese evangelistic drama. the organization that put it on was Showers Of Blessing Evangelistic Ministry (they have TV and radio shows as well). the experience was new for me in several ways. i'd never really done make-up before for any show, i'd never worked with an all chinese-speaking group and i'd never worked on a drama where the cast and crew were all Christians.

although doing make-up was fun, it didn't thrill me as much as knowing that every single person was there for one purpose. we were all there to serve God and bring people closer to Jesus. each moment was completely covered in prayer. the whole company met from 1-2pm for a prayer meeting. then, an hour before showtime, we met again to pray. when the drama was over and the pastor was speaking, everyone backstage met to pray again. it was just awesome.

another thing that brought much joy to my heart was that even though i was the newest (and youngest) person in the group, they all accepted me with no hesitation. and no one minded that i would always pray in english. the unity was both incredible and very beautiful.

looking back, those three days were yet another gift of grace in a seemingly endless stream that was the past four months. this summer, God has poured out his blessings on me. time and again, He placed me in situations i'd never expected or asked for; proving His faithfulness and relentlessly pursuing my heart. Lord, who am i compared to Your glory? Lord, who am i compared to Your majesty?

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
Romans 12:4-5

COME WHAT MAY

psalm 23. i haven't read that in a long time. i mean really read it. so i'm glad our speaker chose it for the sermon scripture this morning.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

lately, i've been asking God to show me how to live life fully satisfied with Christ alone. something from the sermon this morning was, "if we find ourselves wanting something, it's because someone else is our shepherd."

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

i haven't had to face much death in this life so far. i don't fear my own, but it scares me that i will inevitably face the death of those who are close to me. this verse reminded me that even though i'll have to face it someday, i am taken care of.

I will fear no evil...

i will fear only God. (notice it does not say, I will not fear evil.)

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life...

wow, this describes my life thus far. i have been sooooo blessed! Thank you, God!

tonight, i had a really awesome time of fellowship and conversation with a friend i usually don't get to talk to very much. we chatted about all sorts of things, one of them being how God is teaching us what it means to become an adult. on the way home from dropping her off, my tire hit a nail and i had my first flat tire. i'd never known how a flat tire would sound so it was by God's grace that i had the wits about me enough to pull over to a gas station and check the funny sound. :p i've also been blessed with an auto mechanic for a dad, so guess who saved the day?! :) when the whole ordeal was over and we were on our merry way home, i realized that learning how to check a flat tire and change it with a spare tire was another step toward becoming a grown-up. :T

other reflections on my experiences with the drama this weekend to come tomorrow.

SUGARPLUM FAIRIES

oh there are too many thoughts in my head!

i had my first "real" experience as a make-up artist today. i'm helping my mom for a chinese evangelistic drama at TCCC tomorrow and saturday night. tonight was the final dress rehearsal. even though my job was just putting foundation on all the actors, i still took a couple observations away from it.
1. i really take joy in knowing that even in this small, unnoticed task, my God can be glorified. it's great to be a part of the body of Christ. :>
2. it's a weird sensation having to touch so many people's faces. :p

since i didn't post an update yesterday, i'll just say that the garages are finished and i'm at least two shades darker. it only took me a total of 10 hours. i thought it would take much longer. now my mom's going around telling everyone she knows to drive by our house. and my parents are trying to come up with something for me to paint on the garage doors at my dad's car repair shop... (i think they're being chinese, finding ways not to waste the extra paint! lol.) at least i know that if i can't find a job, i have something to fall back on - custom garage door painting. :)

changing topics again, i'm wondering why humans question God so much. like who's in control here? does He not know what He's doing? better yet, do we know what we're doing? so why do we keep questioning His reasons? i get frustrated at myself for coming back again and again to this fundamental question. but then, i was thinking about people in the bible and i realized i'm not the only one who questions. and i think some more and i realize i can't begin to fathom the depth of love God must have for us, to be so patient with us and still continue to bless us.

anyway, i'll leave you with one last thought that stuck out at me today. during the prayer meeting before rehearsal this afternoon, we looked at joshua chapter 3, just before the isrealites were to cross the jordan to capture jericho. one sentence the leader prayed encouraged me and also made me think. he said something to the effect of, Lord, we did not choose to fight this battle, but You chose us to. huh.

The Lord said to Job:
"Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!"

Then Job answered the Lord :
"I am unworthy-how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
I spoke once, but I have no answer-
twice, but I will say no more.
Job 40:1-5

SUNBAKED ME

you know when you've been out in the sun too long and your hair smells funny? yah, that's me right now. i didn't think it would be so hot outside today but five minutes into pencilling in the design on the garage doors, i had to come inside to get my sunglasses ('cuz staring at white hurts your eyes a lot) and change into shorts. a couple of my friends came over to watch me paint. i enjoyed having the company. it's not often that i get visitors. (thanx for coming!!) :> had a nice discussion about the direction for york's ccf. in the course of the afternoon, i managed to paint all three frogs, minus their hands and feet. can't say i'm thrilled with it yet. but i know all my art projects are like that. i start out not liking them and by the end, i think they're alright.

i'm feeling a deep sense of loss today. over a number of things. over things that shouldn't bother me. but it's nothing some intense journaling and scripture can't cure. :)

Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord.
Psalm 4:5

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.
Psalm 143:8

FROGS, FROGS, FROGS

frog painting starts tomorrow. just spent my whole evening looking up pictures of red-eyed tree frogs as sources for what's going up on our garage doors. should be cool. went to buy paint today and one of the paint guys, after he found out what i was buying for, said, "i wanna drive up and see this!" yeah. i promised i'd send them a photo when i'm done. :> we'll see how far i get tomorrow.

anywho, been thinking lots about my commitments and responsibilities come september. wondering if i have too much on my plate. asking God for my version of Gideon's fleece. i can only trust His judgement. Fully Rely On God.

Gideon replied, "If now I have found favor in your eyes, give me a sign that it is really you talking to me."
Judges 6:17

ENOUGH

All of You is more than enough for all of me,
for every thirst and every need;
You satisfy me with Your love,
And all I have in You is more than enough.

i wrestled with God again. it was a most enjoyable day capped off by a most lovely evening. and i was at my friend's concert tonight. i went with a couple friends and i saw many other friends there. in all, i was surrounded by love, both human and Divine. but surprisingly, it was during the concert that i wrestled with God. it's been the same question for the past few weeks now. a question rising from my own greed, impatience and lack of faith. God challenged me with this: If I give you what you wish for, would you be satisfied? What if i didn't give it to you, would you still be satisfied? Where is your sense of completeness coming from? and i am humbled yet again.

i love God's grace. one of the soloists sang the old hymn His Eye Is On The Sparrow tonight. i clung to the words in this song a little under a year ago when i was going through some rough waters with a friend. (if you know me, i even changed my icq nickname because of the song). and as i sat there listening, i couldn't help but smile, knowing that the friendship was now restored, we were both sitting in the theatre and God had proven Himself faithful once again. i was even more touched when the next song was Great Is Thy Faithfulness. at that moment, that was all my heart could say. and i was assured that His promises would ring true in all the other areas of my life as well.

on a side note, i found out that someone actually has their computer set up to tell them when i update my blog. ack! ;p well, sometimes, i'd like to know how you're doing, too!

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.
Psalm 63:5

TIDBITS

nothing much to post today. i feel like it's been a long time since i put anything new up, but honestly, nothing much has happened. i've been painting a fantastic and colourful set of backdrops for a production of Caillou. it's been great living in a childhood story-land. but the project finished today. next project? painting our garage doors. :p

onto deeper things... something i've realized this week is that in an hour-long commute to work, it is possible to have a wonderful conversation with Jesus. i always packed a book to read, but i found that i had so much i needed to sort out in my head before school starts that my time was much better spent talking to God. i was extra glad for the time on the days i couldn't wake myself up early enough to do devos before i stepped out the door. :>

oh yes, another thing about myself that i've been reminded of (yet again): i need to give more. it's such a challenge.

Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.
Matthew 5:42

HIDING UNDER A BOWL?

working in the theatre industry, i see a lot of "worldly ways." like, this job i'm at right now, i'm painting with a professional designer and painter who's gay, involved in the gay community and sings in his church choir. he's a wonderful person to work with and we have some great conversations. i know that some people who claim to be Christians would condemn him for his lifestyle, but in my heart of hearts, i cannot. i find that i can only pray for him more. when he opens up his gay newspapers at lunch, i get such mixed feelings. i know that homosexuality is sin in God's eyes, but how do i make it known that that's how i see it? i can't tell him how to run his life, nor can i say to him "you're wrong." i guess when Jesus hung out with the "sinners," he never had to tell people their sin. they knew, just from being in His presence. oh, that i would allow Jesus to be seen in me so that these friends of mine can be drawn to His grace!

tonight, i had another experience that made me think about this business of being light in the darkness. but this time, it was among my church friends. being the strange creature i am, i haven't actually sat down to watch TV in a very long time. so it felt very odd for me tonight. i hadn't realized just how much sex is glamourized in the media! all those images made me feel sick. but internally, i struggled with whether or not i should speak up. 'cuz i didn't want people to think that i wanted to be holier than them. i was relieved when someone else commented on the garbage we were watching and we put on a clean movie instead. but in retrospect, maybe i should have spoken up. i need to learn to stand up for God and let God take care of my reputation. i need to stop hiding this light.

You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.
Matthew 5:14-16

COSTLY

recently, God's been bringing the same verse to me over and over again.

Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20

One sentence jumps out at me: You are not your own; you were bought at a price. i know this is God, challenging me to really let Him own me. to live under the authority of Jesus Christ. i've also been challenged recently by two other pieces of writing.

the first one is Quest for Love by Elisabeth Elliot. in this sequel to her book Passion and Purity (which, incidentally, if you're between the ages of 15 and 25 and you still haven't read it, read it!), she presents examples and counter-examples of people who give their lovelife over to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. she explains that when we focus our eyes on God and concentrate on doing His will in purity, He will bring the right person at the right time. there is no need to scout. the part that challenges me the most is to keep my thoughts and emotions between me and God while waiting in patience. her view is that by God's design, men should be the initiators while women should be the responders. but before initiating or responding happens, both should wait on God in prayer. (if you have issues with this view, read her book).

the second thing that put 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 in real-life terms for me was written by a martyr (unfortunately, i don't know his name). it speaks for itself.

A Martyr's Creed

“I am a part of the fellowship of the unashamed. I have the Holy Spirit’s power. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made. I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won’t look back, let up, slow down, back away, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I am finished and done with low living, sight walking, small planning, smooth knees, colourless dreams, tame vision, mundane talking, chintzy giving, and dwarfed goals.

I no longer need pre-eminence, prosperity, position, promotions, plaudit, or popularity. I don’t have to be right, first, tops, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by presence, lean by faith, love by patience, lift by prayer, and labour by power. My pace is set, my gait is fast, my goal is heaven, my road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions few, my guide reliable, my mission clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, deterred, lured away, turned back, diluted, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won’t give up, back up, or shut up until I’ve preached up, prayed up, stored up, and stayed up the cause of Christ.

I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I must go until Heaven returns, give until I drop, preach until all know, and work until He comes. And when He comes to get His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My colours will be clear.”

REALITY

i'll never know how much it cost
to see my sin upon that cross.

last night was the 24/7 event. but more than that, i encountered a side of Jesus i'd never experienced before.

as a symbol of our confession, we wrote our sins on a slip of paper and nailed the papers to a wooden cross. as i held my piece of paper, i was so reluctant to get up from my seat and walk to the cross. i didn't want the weight of a hammer in my hand. i didn't want to hold the nail. and most of all, i didn't want to feel the impact of the hammer meeting the head of the nail, forcing it deep into the wood. i didn't want to be responsible for crucifying my Christ. but as i wrestled, Jesus told me that i had already crucified Him countless times. i'd just never acknowledged it. every little step i took away from His will, i'd driven the nail into his flesh. every impure thought, every broken promise, every time i'd ignored a cry for help, every hint of pride.

clang.

clang.

clang.

metal to metal. hammer to nail. i could not run away from my guilt. i had nowhere to turn and no place to hide. He had taken it all. why He'd pay such a high price for a wretch, i will never understand. i only know that in response to a grace so lavish, i can only desire one thing: to let Him live through me.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

ON TRAVELLING TOGETHER

i dunno if it's just me, but maybe someone else notices this in their life: whenever i'm going through a struggle, at least a couple other people in my life are facing the same thing. and when we share about what we're dealing with, a beautiful thing happens - we encourage each other.

i haven't really noticed this effect before, but it floors me that God uses our failures to heal each other. or more accurately, He uses our willingness to be transparent about our shortcomings to help each other. we are mutually built up when we carry each other's burdens. there is much joy in that thought, and i can't help but marvel at God's awesome design. :>

Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2

SLOWLY SELF-DESTRUCTING

sometimes, i think there's a communication gap between my brain and my body. i just managed to stub three of my toes walking from my computer to the garbage can on the other side of my room. at work today, i hammered my thumb. and the other day, i whacked my elbow on the ceramic soap dish in my shower. that didn't stop hurting until the next day. sigh. i think i'm still growing... as if! lol.

been doing some reflecting on everything that God has brought me through this summer. all the lessons i've learned. all the experiences He's given me. the people i've met. the friendships that have developed. i'm really grateful for the time i've had just to read. all these new ideas; i feel like my mind has expanded so much! i've come to a new appreciation of God's word as living, dynamic and exciting to study. and i've realized the importance of free and total abandonment to Christ in every moment of my day (not saying that i've reached it, but now i know it's something to strive for). i hope and pray that i won't forget these lessons when the busyness of school comes crashing down. i suppose this is one of the reasons why we need each other, to keep us accountable. :)

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Hebrews 10:23-25

BLANK

my mind feels blank. it took me an hour to get to work today and 1 1/2 hours after i started working, they told me there was nothing left to do until tomorrow. took another half hour bus ride to meet my mom to go home. two hours of travel for 1 1/2 hours of work. what a day. i guess it's a good thing i'm getting paid more than $2 an hour! :p

no profound spiritual insights lately. although, i was reading The Message translation of the the book of Matthew this morning, and the sermon on the mount made a lot more sense. sort of related to that, i've been praying for God to convict me of sin daily. 'cuz i want to experience His grace and new mercies. i want to be sold out to Jesus, but it always seems like there's so much garbage in the way. i am so easily distracted. oh, how heaven will be so sweet; nothing to take my eyes off Jesus.

anyway, i'll leave you with a couple passages i read this morning:

And don't say anything you don't mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, 'I'll pray for you,' and never doing it, or saying, 'God be with you,' and not meaning it. You don't make words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say 'yes' and 'no.' When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.
Matthew 5:33-37 [The Message]

Don't be flip with the sacred. Banter and silliness give no honour to God. Don't reduce holy mysteries to slogans. In trying to be relevant, you're only being cute and inviting sacrilege.
Matthew 7:6 [The Message]

BALLERINA GIRL

growing up, whenever i heard that song by lionel richie, i would secretly wish that someday, i'd be at a dance and out of the blue, my special guy would dedicate that song to me. i still think it's a sweet idea, but i think it would make me sad more than anything 'cuz i'm no longer a ballerina girl. that, and the notion of me being at a dance with a special guy seems very far off at the moment... but that's not what i wanted to write about today. :P

i got a call from an auntie this evening, asking me whether i'd be able to dance for her music group's outreach concert at the end of the month. it's a chinese christian group and they do a lot of music ministry. unfortunately, i haven't danced in three years, and three weeks would not be enough time for me to prepare something (especially since it's a chinese song!). so i had to tell her no for this time.

deep inside, i miss dancing a lot. sometimes, i wonder how different i would be now if i had majored in dance rather than visual art when i was in high school. but i feel like i'm still waiting to return to dance. although, i'm not sure if i'd go back to ballet.

one of my dreams is to take some modern classes, learn sign language and combine them in worship. i know people have done this already. some call it body worship or interpretive dance. it's sort of ironic that i'm currently preparing one for this saturday. but i want to be able to express the songs with a solid knowledge of what movements i'm using. i want it to be an educated piece of art so that i'm really giving my best to God. it saddens me that dance is not incorporated into our worship more and that so few people are encouraged to learn it.

i'm biased though. i'm a kinetic worshipper; my heart worships most fully when my body reflects my emotions.

Let Israel rejoice in their Maker;
let the people of Zion be glad in their King.
Let them praise his name with dancing
and make music to him with tambourine and harp.
Psalm 149:2-3

POWERFUL WORDS

we looked at the story of Jonah in sunday school today. i haven't read it in a very long time so it was refreshing to read it again. one verse in particular jumped out at me. i think it's self explanatory, so i'll just post it for you to chew on...

Those who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
Jonah 2:8

ouch.

some other words to chew on that i just came across...

A world without reference to Christ — this is the message of Toronto — is a world that, sooner or later, finishes by being against man. The history of the past, even recently, shows this. One cannot push God away without finding oneself refusing man.
~Pope John Paul II in reference to World Youth Day 2002

TEE HEE

while rummaging through old papers in search of an address, i came across what could be my all-time favourite short story. i got it from my grade ten english teacher, who read it to us as a break from regular stuff. she was a little off the wall. but so am i. so here, i present to you, the African tale called

Chit-Chat

One day, a farmer was in his field, getting ready to pull some sweet potatoes out of the ground in order to sell them at the market, when one of the sweet potatoes said, "Fine, now you want to pull me up and sell me, but all the time I've been growing, you've hardly given me any water."

Startled, the farmer looked around and said, "Who's talking to me?" And his dog replied, "It was the sweet potato, you silly farmer!"

The farmer had never heard of a talking sweet potato or a talking dog -- and he became a bit frightened. To protect himself, he started to pull a big branch from a tree. "Oh, no, you don't," said the tree. "You can't take a branch from me to use as a stick. For years you've been enjoying my shade without ever saying 'Thank you.'"

Now the farmer was really frightened. And he ran all the way to the King's castle.

When he arrived, he told the King exactly what happened. "First the sweet potato talked to me," he said, "then the dog, then the tree."

"I think," said the King, "you've been working in the sun too long. You need a rest." And he waved the farmer away.

After the farmer left, the King pulled up his favourite chair. As he did, the chair laughed and said to the King, "Can you believe that farmer? Who ever heard of a talking sweet potato?"