REALITY

i'll never know how much it cost
to see my sin upon that cross.

last night was the 24/7 event. but more than that, i encountered a side of Jesus i'd never experienced before.

as a symbol of our confession, we wrote our sins on a slip of paper and nailed the papers to a wooden cross. as i held my piece of paper, i was so reluctant to get up from my seat and walk to the cross. i didn't want the weight of a hammer in my hand. i didn't want to hold the nail. and most of all, i didn't want to feel the impact of the hammer meeting the head of the nail, forcing it deep into the wood. i didn't want to be responsible for crucifying my Christ. but as i wrestled, Jesus told me that i had already crucified Him countless times. i'd just never acknowledged it. every little step i took away from His will, i'd driven the nail into his flesh. every impure thought, every broken promise, every time i'd ignored a cry for help, every hint of pride.

clang.

clang.

clang.

metal to metal. hammer to nail. i could not run away from my guilt. i had nowhere to turn and no place to hide. He had taken it all. why He'd pay such a high price for a wretch, i will never understand. i only know that in response to a grace so lavish, i can only desire one thing: to let Him live through me.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20