sometimes, God takes us to a place where it seems like everything is dark and we feel all lost and lonely. and then, contrary to what we expect him to do, he remains silent. the only thing we have to hold on to is the hope and assurance that in spite of everything, we have the promise of grace forever. the promise that he knows what he is doing.
this week has been one of those times for me. there's been a deep aching and emptiness in my heart that has washed over me in waves. true, there have been moments of happiness, but the prevailing emotion has been quite sombre. i do not know how to explain it, or what to attribute this pit to, but it's as if God has brought me here to deal with the bare essentials - namely, Him and me. in my weakness, i am forced to face the power and jealousy of God. He desires to be my strength, and my only strength. the challenge here is to die to myself.
will i dare to live with just Jesus?
being refined by God is painful. but i pray that i will endure like Christ, for the joy set before me.
for the spirit of heaviness,
Your joy is my strength alone, my strength alone.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
~Hebrews 12:2~
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