working in the theatre industry, i see a lot of "worldly ways." like, this job i'm at right now, i'm painting with a professional designer and painter who's gay, involved in the gay community and sings in his church choir. he's a wonderful person to work with and we have some great conversations. i know that some people who claim to be Christians would condemn him for his lifestyle, but in my heart of hearts, i cannot. i find that i can only pray for him more. when he opens up his gay newspapers at lunch, i get such mixed feelings. i know that homosexuality is sin in God's eyes, but how do i make it known that that's how i see it? i can't tell him how to run his life, nor can i say to him "you're wrong." i guess when Jesus hung out with the "sinners," he never had to tell people their sin. they knew, just from being in His presence. oh, that i would allow Jesus to be seen in me so that these friends of mine can be drawn to His grace!
tonight, i had another experience that made me think about this business of being light in the darkness. but this time, it was among my church friends. being the strange creature i am, i haven't actually sat down to watch TV in a very long time. so it felt very odd for me tonight. i hadn't realized just how much sex is glamourized in the media! all those images made me feel sick. but internally, i struggled with whether or not i should speak up. 'cuz i didn't want people to think that i wanted to be holier than them. i was relieved when someone else commented on the garbage we were watching and we put on a clean movie instead. but in retrospect, maybe i should have spoken up. i need to learn to stand up for God and let God take care of my reputation. i need to stop hiding this light.
Matthew 5:14-16
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