In the short span of four months, I was in two car accidents that resulted in the total loss of a car. The first one was pretty cut and dry: I was rear ended. That was that. The second one left me feeling more uncertain.
I was hit on a Friday afternoon. I had to wait the entire weekend before I could find out how much damage had been done to the car. And I had to wait even longer to find out whether I would be held responsible or not. Over that weekend, I thought much about the accident and replayed the scene over and over in my mind. I thought about the other driver, who accused me of not driving safely. I felt anxious, afraid and angry. As I tried to fall asleep, the thought occurred to me, "Jesus paid it all." Jesus paid for my mistakes, just as He paid for the other driver's mistakes.
I hated the feeling of uncertainty. By all evidence, I should not be held responsible (and in the end, I wasn't). But I could not know for sure until I got the letter saying so. Feeling so uncertain about this verdict made me very grateful that at the end of this age, when we stand at the Final Judgment, I can be certain that I will be declared innocent.
Being in two accidents in four months also left me feeling insecure about driving. I felt like vowing to never sit behind a steering wheel again. But as I thought about it, I knew that to make such a vow would be to let the drivers "out there" control my decisions. It would essentially be allowing fear to dictate my life choices. And that wouldn't do. Because I had decided long ago that I would not let fear choose for me. Jesus paid for my freedom and I would live in it. I would trust that God would protect me and I would believe that His angels surrounded my car. After all, as my husband says, "We're invincible until we die."
