TORN

if you're reading this to be encouraged, today's posting might not be the one for you. i have some venting to do... but who knows, maybe you'll be encouraged knowing that you're not the only one struggling in this life? :T

there were moments today when i wanted to shut off the sound in the world; i was so frustrated at the things i was hearing. it was mostly what a couple of my friends were discussing. one of my friends recently got a boyfriend and the other one has had various relationships over the three years i've known her. anyway, they were talking about their boys and pretty much comparing them. their words were not specific in any way, but the innuendo was so explicit. part of me was disgusted and part of me was sad. disgusted because i really did not want to hear their conversation. sad because i knew that at the heart of the matter, they're both trying to find security in relationships that only Christ can fulfill. and yet they're both so adverse to Jesus. it makes me want to cry.

on the other hand, hearing my friend mention that the chocolates she had were from her boyfriend slightly stung my heart. i know there are other girls (and guys) who have promised God to leave this whole department to His timing so it's not a solitary journey. but her comment stirred a desire in me. it also sent me running to the cross. i know that clinging to the nail-scarred hands is the only way i'll pass through this darkness in safety.

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
~Philippians 4:8~