Wednesday, December 22, 2004

ME? MOVE A MOUNTAIN?

Just the time I think that I'm at peace with a world that's mine,
I feel at ease, I feel at home and I know I'm not alone,
Then in my rest, there comes a test that shakes me till again I know
That what I've learned is not enough and again I've got to grow.

Lord, I want to know you more,
Deep within my heart I want to know you,
Lord I want to know you,
And I would give my final breath
To know you in your death and resurrection
Lord I want to know you more.

in this past week, i've had a bike stolen, a purse stolen and fought a fever for a day.  on the flip side, i've also gotten to see five students accept Christ into their lives.  small price, i'd say.  more than anything, i've been learning about the power of faith and more importantly, prayer that's backed by faith.  getting my purse stolen has definitely shaken up my world more than i ever expected.  my faith has been stretched as i have had to tell myself that all the "stuff" in this life is just that.  stuff.  one day, it'll all be burnt up and gone in a flash.  i've had to remind myself of the goodness of God - His sovereignty that does not even allow a particle of dust to fall without His knowledge.  to believe that in my moments of pain and disillusionment with the world, He still desires to use me - that His power to bring life is greater than my clouds of doubt.  and holding onto the Word, i've had to press on and continue the work He's called me to do.

surprisingly though, i've found that faith is not something i can muster up.  it's only in a place of surrender and desperate need of God to show up that i've been carried through.  only when i'm looking back, do i realize faith was given to me.  i've found that it's my prayers of total reliance that are answered. 

three years ago, i heard someone pray, "Lord, grant us greater faith and greater vision."  it was then that i began to ask for more faith.  and looking back, i see with delight how God is answering it day by day.  i can't say i have faith to move a mountain, but i'm starting to see that i can bank myself on the One who is able to move it.

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
~Hebrews 11:1~