Saturday, October 19, 2002

CHALLENGES

it's been a while since i've updated anything here... school's insanely busy despite the fact that i don't have midterms. i dunno how that works but each day is packed chock-full of ongoing assignments. and i think the weather's gettin to me 'cuz i have an overwhelming urge to sleep pretty much every moment i'm awake - not very conducive to accomplishing anything. anyway, i wanted to post a little update on what God's been teaching me this past week.

recently, God's been intensifying my burden to reach my friends at school; particularly my three suitemates and seven classmates (yes, i only have an 8 person class). i have been trying to get an investigative bible study going but to no avail since no one has shown up for the past two weeks. after much thought, i've boiled it all down to two areas of challenge.

firstly, i have much fear. i know in my head how to invite my friends to come to the bible studies and i've had ample opportunities to do so, but my mouth feels glued shut. the culprit: fear. it's even more frustrating when i know it's fear and know i have nothing to fear, yet i still am immobilized by it. i have a huge passion to see them discover Christ, but it seems like even that is not enough to open my mouth. i told my church counsellor about it last night and she encouraged me by telling me to keep trying. the time will come, she said. that's what i pray.

secondly, i have forgotten the basics of prayer. God gave me a wake-up call through my devotional material the other day when the writer pointed out that Jesus is the Lord of the harvest. it's up to Him when things will happen. we need to have faith and keep praying in the face of apparent lack of movement on God's part.

The key to the missionary problem is in the hand of God, and that key is prayer not work, that is, not work as the word is popularly understood today because that may mean the evasion of conentration on God. Prayer does not fit us for the greater works; prayer is the greater work. Whichever way God engineers circumstances, the duty is to pray.
~Oswald Chambers~

i overestimate my powers and underestimate God's. how i desperately need God's grace!

Pray ye therefore to the Lord of the harvest, that He wil send forth labourers into His harvest.
~Matthew 9:38~

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