DEEP 'N' DELICIOUS WORDS

just pausing my essay writing to post a verse my friend sent to me today. Life is hard. And God is good.

Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop fails, and the fields lie empty and barren; even though the flocks die in the fields, and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the LORD! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign LORD is my strength! He will make me as surefooted as a deer and bring me safely over the mountains.
~Habakkuk 3:17-19~

ANGELS ALL AROUND ME

How sweet it is to be loved by you.

i love my fellowship at York.
i was mad at myself for sleeping in this morning and messing up my schedule for the day when i went to prayer meeting this evening. completely stressed and frazzled, it was difficult for me to focus. my mind was constantly wandering to all the work that sat in front of me. it felt like all the pressure from school was clouding my vision of God. i felt disconnected. but simply being there in a room full of people interceding and hearing the prayers of my friends for me let me know deep inside that God was indeed there. it was beyond words. and i think God understood what my tears were trying to pray, too.

my thoughts are rather disjointed tonight but it amazes me the way God uses His children to literally bring a touch of healing into others' lives. after the prayer meeting, one of my friends gave me a hug. and i knew that at that moment, God was also hugging me and wrapping me in His arms. so my friend, if you ever happen to read this, thank you. your touch encouraged me more than you'll ever know.

...6 more days to go.

For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.
~2 Chronicles 16:9~

GOD'S HUMOUR

after complaining about not wanting to go home to do work yesterday, and actually going home to do work, i can't help but laugh at my own silliness and God's provision. last night, my parents had friends over and they brought their two little girls with them. it's been a long time since i've "chilled" with kids. and it was such a treat. i still got my homework done, but it was just so much more enjoyable with their company. i was making little model figures for my set maquette so i let them have some modelling clay to play with. so the three of us sat around, playing with clay all night. it was definitely an unexpected gift from Daddy. :> made me know that things are gonna be alright. no stress ... just like a child. :>

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
~Isaiah 41:10~

PEACE

i am now officially in the last major crunch of the semester. i spent 10 1/2 hours on my set design project in the studio yesterday (not including 5 or so hours of work for other courses). and i still have so much left to finish before our presentations start on tuesday! i want to stay at school this weekend but i can't. i feel like school's more than i can handle even if it were the only thing on my plate... but alas, i have multiple other things going on outside of school that eat up my time as well... anywho, all this to say that i might not be posting updates for a short while (the craziness ends dec 7).

it's in times like these that i know that the strength i live on does not and cannot come from me. even the most disciplined time managing go-getter would be burned out. i've come to know the sweetness of the morning silence spent with God - no matter how short it may be. to be honest, the number of tasks in front of me is daunting and i'm afraid at times. but i have peace, knowing that i don't walk this road alone. actually, i think that that is one of the most assuring things anyone can hear - that there is company in this journey. :>

well, it's back to the books. to everyone who's in crunch mode too: take care of yourself and remember to eat well (the Word!).

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...
And be thankful.
~Colossians 3:15~

100 ACRE WOODS

i just spent four nights living in a hotel in Florida where things are so extravagant that their sewing kits come in aluminum tins, the maids come in twice a day and the going rate for a room is $500 US/night. and it was all paid for - an award trip from my parents' company. :) but looking out over the hotel grounds from our balcony, i couldn't help but feel the grotesqueness of it all. the energy used to light and heat the building for a day would probably be enough to power a small country in europe for a week! all the opulence was pretty but it felt so hollow. all i could think was, "this isn't real life." real life is out on the streets. real life is the people in the soup kitchen who know what it is to live the human experience with no fancy trappings. real life is being in touch with God.

being in Disneyworld wasn't much better. for all the messages of hope and world peace, it still stunk of materialism and commercialism. it was a very nice trip and definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience but i'm glad to be home, back in my little corner of reality. back where sandwiches don't cost $8 and where trees are planted outside, not inside. where things are more-or-less natural.

I have strayed like a lost sheep.
Seek your servant,
for I have not forgotten your commands.
~Psalm 119:176~

LAUGHTER...

...is the best medicine. our ccf tonight held our program on humour. and oh, how hilarious it was! from colouring bible story pictures with pencil crayons to making up raps to our stories, it was so nice to be able to let loose and go crazy. :> yep, it was a wonderful time of fun and fellowship. and a lovely reminder of God's gifts to us.

Every good and perfect gift is from above coming down from the Father of Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
~James 1:17~

REMEMBERING

11:11am - the middle of drawing class. a minute of silence to remember.

remembering those who gave their lives for our freedom.

remembering the One who gave His life for my Freedom.

But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation–
~Colossians 1:22~

FOLLOWING THE HUMBLE KING

Oh kneel me down again here at Your feet,
Show me how much You love humility,
Oh spirit be the star that leads me to
The humble heart of love I see in You;

'Cause You are the God of the broken,
Friend of the weak,
You wash the feet of the weary,
embrace the ones in need,
I want to be like You, Jesus,
To have this heart in me;
You are the God of the humble,
You are the Humble King.

the past two days have been wave after wave of God showing me the brokenness of our human condition. last night, at the International Christian Centre, our fellowship went to serve food to the people at the soup kitchen. there were more people there than usual and a number of us had some very meaningful conversations with the people there. usually, we leave at about 9:30 or 10:00 but last night, we stayed until at least 10:30, if not later. by the end of the night it was such a lesson in putting myself aside simply because i was so tired and hungry. but while we were waiting for the last few conversations and prayers to finish, we sang some songs. Humble King was one of them. i'd never sang that song with so much heart and understanding before. it wasn't until i was weak, tired and hungry that i saw how Jesus came to serve me and all those around me who were weaker, more tired and hungrier than i.

then, in class today, my friend mentioned that she would have been a mom by now had it not been for a miscarriage. and she probably wouldn't be in my classes had that not happened. i don't know how to put my thoughts and feelings into words other than that my heart weeps for her.

my third lesson in brokenness came a little later today. another friend of mine is struggling with something and i was asked to help. i felt completely inadequate to help (and still feel that way). the best i can offer are my ears and Jesus Christ.

Lord, teach me how to love.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
~1Peter 4:8~

FOREVER AND ALWAYS

God is good. just when i start losing sight of my value in His eyes, He sends me two conversations in a day to reaffirm His view of me. i really don't deserve to be treated so well. ;>

He knows my name,
He knows my every thought,
He sees each tear that falls
and hears me when I call.

soup kitchen run tomorrow... we'll see what this visit brings. :>

Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
~Luke 12:7~

OBSERVATION

something i noticed lately in my converstions with friends: my friends are more concerned about my health and wellbeing than i am. just a thought. :>

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.
~1 John 4:11~

FIRST SNOWFALL

friendships are the most interesting things. how is it that two people can share a connection such that any action that either of them makes will affect both of them? how is it that the mere presence of a good friend can still anxieties and calm fears? maybe because each of us is afraid of loneliness that we appreciate company when we have it and seek it out when we don't.

yesterday was one of the toughest days i've gone through in a very long time. emotionally raw and exhausted both physically and mentally, my day ran from 7am-2am non-stop. i'd slept over at my best friend's place on thursday so i had to ttc it back to school, get ready for class, make it through 4 hours of costuming, ttc it from York to Scarbough, go through rehearsal, lead worship for Mike Clemon's speaking event and go out for food with the rest of the worship team. but somehow, through it all, i know that God still used me to touch people - despite my being in shambles. i know that i was not alone because i had people praying for me. and i know that even when things don't make sense, they will.

Why should I feel discouraged, Why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, And long for heav'n and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, And I know He watches me,
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
~Civilla D. Martin

The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me;
your love, O LORD , endures forever-
do not abandon the works of your hands.
~Psalm 138:8~