HEBREWS 11

the faith hall of fame. on the car ride home from St. Jacobs today, i had this urge to flip open to Hebrews. i intended to read chapter 10, but i ended up reading till chapter 12. one thought caught me in particular. after listing all the heros of the ages, paul writes,

These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
~Hebrews 11:39-40~

God didn't give these people what they were promised! yet they still had faith. moreover, God didn't give these people what they were promised because He was waiting for us???!!! it's like, we're in this race where everyone who finishes gets a prize. but no one gets a prize until everyone finishes. so the people who finish early stand by the sidelines and cheer the rest of the runners on. and when the last person crosses the line, the party lasts forever. glorious. just glorious. no wonder the author goes on to write,

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
~Hebrews 12:1-3~

BEING REAL

its another thing to be able to be completely real and yourself with every single one of those people u know

we were discussing the pros and cons of having multiple circles of friends. how it's good because a large network allows you to connect people to the help they need. but also how it's tough because it's hard to keep yourself transparent in all circumstances. my friend's comment got me thinking about my own friends and acquaintances. if a classmate were to come hang out with me at fellowship, would they see the same person? if my christian friends were to drop in on me at work, would they recognize me? if my parents stayed with me in res...? i guess it all comes back to living Christ 24/7 and being acutely aware of it. or is it possible to be in such a habit of living Christ that one does not have to stop and evaluate anymore? hmm...

on a lighter note, i went to send my hair off yesterday. fourteen inches of black, braided hair. since the office is in florida, i had to declare what was inside the package. so, yeah, the customs label had "contents: hair". and it was marked as a gift. :p i can only hope that the customs inspector doesn't pass out. :)

The man of integrity walks securely, but he who takes crooked paths will be found out.
~Proverbs 10:9~

WIND BENEATH MY WINGS

Faith must be tested, because it can be turned into a personal posession only through conflict.
Oswald Chambers

i don't know how many people prayed for me yesterday but i know someone was. it was weird. the dark cloud that was over me when i woke up in the morning slowly lifted as the day went on. it dawned on me in the afternoon that the emotional darkness was perhaps a part of the spiritual battle we're fighting. i saw my naivete in thinking that it would be smooth sailing - especially in the face of chairing our ccf and running investigative bible studies in res. so thanks to all who prayed for me. the battle's just beginning...

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.
2 Corinthians 10:4

MORNING

woke up at 7:30 this morning. didn't get out of bed until 10:30. didn't want to get up. i dunno what it is, but i can't seem to get over this feeling of futility. i have so much to do in this next month but there's no motivation to do it. just want to curl up and sleep everything away. argh. need prayer.

"Meaningless! Meaningless!" says the Teacher.
"Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless."
Ecclesiastes 1:2

WISHING FOR HEAVEN

when i was younger, i'd go into this little pit of loneliness after a weekend church retreat, simply because i'd go from being surrounded by friends to being home alone with my parents. for some reason, i've hit that funk mood again. maybe it's 'cuz this summer has been so good. maybe it's 'cuz i know once school starts, the hanging out will dwindle to almost non-existence. maybe it's 'cuz i'm home alone tonight and everyone else is either out with friends or on vacation. in any case, it brings me back to my struggle to be content. it seems like no matter how much i am determined or how much i desire to be satisfied with Christ, i still have this nagging void. i wish for certain friendships, but i know that even if i were to have them, i would still feel the emptiness. it saddens me.

this world is not my home.

Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it.
2 Corinthians 5:6-9

post script:
while searching the keyword "home" on the bible online, i came across a most disturbing verse:

When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel.
Judges 19:29

if you read chapters 19-21, it traces the story behind the verse and the repercussions of the incident. the conclusion comes in the last verse of chapter 21:

In those days Israel had no king; everyone did as he saw fit.
Judges 21:25

sorta reminds me of some other time in history...

UNITED

this past thursday, friday and saturday, i experienced the body of Christ in a fresh and new way. if you've been following my updates here, you'd know that i was helping my mom do make-up for a chinese evangelistic drama. the organization that put it on was Showers Of Blessing Evangelistic Ministry (they have TV and radio shows as well). the experience was new for me in several ways. i'd never really done make-up before for any show, i'd never worked with an all chinese-speaking group and i'd never worked on a drama where the cast and crew were all Christians.

although doing make-up was fun, it didn't thrill me as much as knowing that every single person was there for one purpose. we were all there to serve God and bring people closer to Jesus. each moment was completely covered in prayer. the whole company met from 1-2pm for a prayer meeting. then, an hour before showtime, we met again to pray. when the drama was over and the pastor was speaking, everyone backstage met to pray again. it was just awesome.

another thing that brought much joy to my heart was that even though i was the newest (and youngest) person in the group, they all accepted me with no hesitation. and no one minded that i would always pray in english. the unity was both incredible and very beautiful.

looking back, those three days were yet another gift of grace in a seemingly endless stream that was the past four months. this summer, God has poured out his blessings on me. time and again, He placed me in situations i'd never expected or asked for; proving His faithfulness and relentlessly pursuing my heart. Lord, who am i compared to Your glory? Lord, who am i compared to Your majesty?

Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.
Romans 12:4-5

COME WHAT MAY

psalm 23. i haven't read that in a long time. i mean really read it. so i'm glad our speaker chose it for the sermon scripture this morning.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

lately, i've been asking God to show me how to live life fully satisfied with Christ alone. something from the sermon this morning was, "if we find ourselves wanting something, it's because someone else is our shepherd."

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death...

i haven't had to face much death in this life so far. i don't fear my own, but it scares me that i will inevitably face the death of those who are close to me. this verse reminded me that even though i'll have to face it someday, i am taken care of.

I will fear no evil...

i will fear only God. (notice it does not say, I will not fear evil.)

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life...

wow, this describes my life thus far. i have been sooooo blessed! Thank you, God!

tonight, i had a really awesome time of fellowship and conversation with a friend i usually don't get to talk to very much. we chatted about all sorts of things, one of them being how God is teaching us what it means to become an adult. on the way home from dropping her off, my tire hit a nail and i had my first flat tire. i'd never known how a flat tire would sound so it was by God's grace that i had the wits about me enough to pull over to a gas station and check the funny sound. :p i've also been blessed with an auto mechanic for a dad, so guess who saved the day?! :) when the whole ordeal was over and we were on our merry way home, i realized that learning how to check a flat tire and change it with a spare tire was another step toward becoming a grown-up. :T

other reflections on my experiences with the drama this weekend to come tomorrow.