NOT EVEN A PENNY OF HELP

I'm not sure why, but the recent violence in Kenya has touched a tender spot in my heart. Perhaps it's all the unnecessary killings and seeing the futility of trying to use violence to bring about change. I don't know. But I read the news and my heart weeps as I imagine all the displaced people who are living in such terror day and night. All that chaos with no where to turn.

And I'm halfway around the world enjoying my comfortable home and stable life.

I went on the Canadian Food for the Hungry site to see if there was anything I could do to bring Christ's love and presence to these people. According to the site, there are an estimated 250,000 people who are displaced because of this turmoil. That means, to help each person with only a dollar, that would be $250,000.

Sigh. I'm sad that I cannot even give 1 cent of help to each person. But I can trust that what I can give, the Lord has accepted and blessed.

You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.”
~2 Corinthians 9:7~

SINGLENESS, MARRIAGE, AND HOLINESS

For as long as I can remember, I'd wanted to be a wife and a mother. On my sixteenth birthday, I asked God for a boyfriend (seeing as that was the logical first step toward attaining my heart's desire). In His grace, He let that request wait for another 9 years. In those years of waiting and hoping, I grew in my experience of God's personal presence and gained a deepened passion for sharing Christ with others. I let my dream of marriage lie dormant and decided to focus my energies on growing in my walk with God and serving people. Afterall, thinking about my struggle with singleness was rather painful and seemed counter-productive. Didn't Paul say that those who are single can focus themselves more fully on serving the Lord?

What I didn't realize was that I was slowly adopting a belief that singleness was somehow holier than being married; especially since it looked like God was heading me in the direction of full-time vocational overseas ministry and frankly, that limited even further my already slim chances of getting married (or so I thought). In a way, attaching holiness to singleness was a sort of consolation for my aching heart. But even in history, we see the tradition of monks and nuns renouncing marriage to devote themselves to the Lord in celibacy. And those who are married, we admire for their contributions to the Kingdom despite being married.

God began challenging this belief when Tim and I started courting. And reading Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas the last couple days has challenged me further. This book has helped me understand that marriage is another vehicle God uses to shape His character into our lives. That it isn't holier either way - remaining single or getting married. Serving the Lord by caring for a husband, doing dishes and laundry and other everyday tasks is just as precious to Him as serving Him by staying unmarried and going to the ends of the earth preaching the gospel. What matters is we become more like Him.

Holiness is something God wants to shape in us regardless of our circumstances. And in some ways, being married requires harder work and more selflessness. Living through the ups and downs of life while continuously seeking to love another requires commitment and humility. (I write these things as observations I've gathered from reading, but it makes sense to me.)

I remember once meeting a woman of God who had just decided to come back from the mission field so that she could get married. I couldn't understand then why she would choose that. I think I'm starting to see it now.

My purpose in writing is to...assure you that the grace of God is with you no matter what happens.
~1 Peter 5:12~

SOLID ROCK::ROCK SOLID

Thinking about direction in life, Tim often reminds me that it's not about what we want to do or accomplish in life, but who we want to become. He told me about a conversation recently where he realized that what we build our lives around a) we need to be intentional about and b) really make a difference later in life.

We need to be intentional: Each of us is born into an environment where a certain set of values is passed on to us. As we mature into adults, we have a choice – to keep those values by default or to think them through and come up with our own. If we are not carefully intentional about it, we will end up drifting through life and passively allowing values which are not necessarily our own to shape us. None of us lives without values in place. It’s just whether or not we’re conscious of them.

The second idea is linked to the first. If, for example, the value of work is passed on and a person adopts it as their own (either consciously or unconsciously) and centers their lives upon work, when they retire, their whole world needs to be reoriented. This then becomes a rather disorienting experience. (This can also apply to family, health, wealth, etc.) If, on the other hand, a person carefully thinks through their life priorities and centers their lives on becoming a person with certain characteristics, or knowing or loving God to their best ability, even when life circumstances change, they do not need to reorient their lives.

With this in mind, I have been thinking about who I want to become. I’ve come up with two qualities so far:
1. To be an obedient child of God: one whose heart is acutely attuned and responsive to Him.
2. To be a person of grace: one who lives freely in the grace of Christ and extends it to others.

I suspect there will be more qualities to come, but we’ll start from here. ;)

I will show you what he is like who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice. He is like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete.
~Luke 6:47-49~

A CURIOUS REALITY

Olive, for an introvert, you sure know a lot of people. Why is that?

Um... good question.

I really think that all the people I know have been placed into my life by God. I'm not one for big parties, intentional networking or lots of socializing, so it is at least a small mystery as to how I've gotten connected to so many people.

I see my friendships as a collection of sorts. It's like each time I meet a new friend, a little space in my heart is created for them. And each new place I go to, my heart gathers some new friends. I can't explain why people are so dear to me, but they are.

I guess I'm a people-loving introvert. :D They tend to drain me, but I love them so! This, I'm sure, is also a work of God.

For the Lord takes delight in his people.
~Psalm 149:4~

HOPE FOR THE DARK TIMES

Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the LORD
and rely on his God.
But now, all you who light fires
and provide yourselves with flaming torches,
go, walk in the light of your fires
and the torches you have set ablaze.
This is what you will receive from my hand:
You will lie down in torment.
~Isaiah 50:10b-11~

Flipping through some old journals last night, I came across this entry. It was written at a height of my struggle with singleness but in re-reading it, I think the truths embedded are applicable to other times of "darkness" as well. It came as a response to the above passage. I pray this will encourage you.

I picture myself in a cave. My eyes are open yet I see nothing. It's pitch dark. I hear a voice though. A gentle, inviting voice; confident and firm. A familiar voice. Recognition of the voice makes my heart leap and a smile break across my face. No one can see it, of course, because it's so dark. I turn and face the voice. "Reach out and hold my hand," He says. Where is your hand? I wonder. I stretch out my hand and instantly, it is wrapped in warmth. How wonderful! I am not alone in here! What's more, the One who holds my hand knows the way out - afterall, He did make this place.

I'm tempted to ask Him for some light so that I can make sure I don't slip. But I realize, it's dark for a reason. He does not want me to see what's in here. He wants to know I trust Him. Though I can't see myself, I know He can see me. He's promised not to let my foot slip. So we walk.

At times, it feels like we're going up. At times, it feels like we're going down. There are no clues about where I am or how much longer this journey will be. Once in a while, when the terrain gets too rough, He scoops me up and carries me.

There are other voices in the cave with us. Voices that taunt me, voices that scare me.
"Why can't you just get your own light and navigate your own way?"
"He's taking you the long route, you know."
"You're so pathetic."
"He doesn't really care for you."
"How are you so sure he's leading you out of here?"
"You are such a fool."
"You'll never make it. You're gonna die in here."
I have no clue how these other voices know who I am but sometimes, what they say starts getting to me. He knows this. So when those times come, He gently squeezes my hand to remind me Who I'm walking with. Sometimes, instead of squeezing my hand, He'll start singing. And pretty soon, His rich melodious voice drowns out (and silences?) all those other voices.

He does not tell me where we are going. Only that it will be good. As we walk, I imagine it to be like a meadow. Wide open sky, wild flowers all around, birds singing as they flit from tree to tree. And grass. Soft, lush, green grass...

"Pay attention now," He says. I snap out of my reverie. He's taking this opportunity to teach me things as we walk. Things about Himself, things about this world, thing about me and the rest of humanity. As I listen, I realize I still have much growing up to do. I guess I'm ok with that.

One day, we enter a place where there is light! It's not as bright as I had imagined. "The full sunshine is still up ahead," He tells me. He knows what I'm thinking. Even so, I'm delighted. He's brought me through the darkness!

I look around and see a friend. I'm not sure if I've really met him before, but I know he's my friend. He sees me, too. He walks over to me with a big grin. "Where have you been?" he asks. He's been waiting for me. I explain. I tell him about the cave and the One who lead me through it, the awful voices and the lessons I learned. "Hey, I've been there too!" my friend chimes in. Excited, we share our stories.

Suddenly, we realize Someone is watching us. Full of joy, we turn to Him. Can we walk the rest of the way together? Yes, of course, He replies. That's why I brought you here.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight.
~Proverbs 3:5-6~

PROMISE FOR THE NEW YEAR

The Word for today in Streams in the Desert is from Deuteronomy 11:10-12:

For the land, into which you are entering to possess it, is not like the land of Egypt from which you came, where you used to sow your seed and water it with your foot like a vegetable garden. But the land into which you are about to cross to possess it, a land of hills and valleys, drinks water from the rain of heaven, a land for which the LORD your God cares; the eyes of the LORD your God are always on it, from the beginning even to the end of the year.[NASB]

This first day of the new year, we stand on the threshold to another 365 days that lie ahead of us. To me, this passage speaks truth about my life. The land I came from was a land of self-effort. It was a small land, a garden patch. The land I am about to possess is a land of hills and valleys - a vast expanse of discovery, joys and sorrows. It is a land that is cared for by the LORD Himself. I look forward in anticipation to possessing this land that offers me a fullness and richness that I could not come about by my own work.

I read this verse to my mom tonight and she asked the question, "Are you ready?" Ready for what? I wondered. "A lot of people aren't ready for hills and valleys." I don't feel unready. I am confident because I know God will only lead me there when I'm ready and that when that time comes, He will go with me.

Bring on 2008!

All the days ordained for me

were written in your book

before one of them came to be.
~Psalm 139:16~