THE WHITE ELEPHANT

there is a tale of a certain prince of a certain kingdom.  within this kingdom, there was a certain high official who was rather unpleasant.   and this certain high official became such a nuisance that the prince needed to rid the kingdom of him.  so, as any wise ruler would do, this prince decided to give this official an extravagant gift: a white elephant.

now within this kingdom, the white elephant was the most sacred of animals, requiring the highest quality of grooming and the finest  of foods.  it needed its own climate-controlled shelter and a score of personal attendants.  only esteemed men were given the task of keeping a white elephant.  at least that's what the high official first thought.

"how privileged i am to receive this gift!  and from the prince no less!  see how special i am," said the official, beaming with pride.  but as the weeks wore on, the truth began to emerge.  the man's life savings were being spent on keeping the white elephant content and he was quickly spiraling into debt.  but he could not give it away or sell it for to do so would be to offend the prince and perhaps cost him his life.  and so what was once appeared to be a blessing turned out to be a curse.

how many times do we chase after white elephants, thinking we're in for something good when in reality, they're only meant to destroy us.  and how many times do we look at others' lives in envy, wishing we had a white elephant when we don't see what the implications would be for us if we did have one.

dear God, teach me to be wise.  and teach me to be content.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are--no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.
~Matthew 5:5 [the Message]~

I KNOW NOT LOVE

this morning, i was reading the story of Mary, anointing Jesus at Bethany with perfume and wiping his feet with her hair and i realized that i still have a very far way to go before i grasp the depth of his Calvary love.  i tried to picture myself in her position and i wondered if i could take my $26,300 this year and spend it on perfume to spill over his feet.  and then use my hair to wipe it up?!  who would do that?  only one who was deeply touched by the extent of his love.  in light of that, i still have a heart of stone.  which leads me to this question:  if i am not moved by Calvary love, how can i expect to be moved by the plight of man?

For Christ's love compels us...
~2 Corinthians 5:14~

ABOUND IN YOU

Sever me from myself that
     I may be grateful to You;
May I perish to myself that
      I may be safe in You;
May I die to myself that
     I may live in You;
May I wither to myself that
     I may blossom in You;
May I be emptied of myself that
     I  may abound in You;
May I be nothing to myself that
     I may be all to You.

Desiderius Erasmus (1406-1536)

He must become greater; I must become less.
~John 3:30~

THICKER THAN WATER

having relatives over is turning out to be a surprisingly pleasant experience.  in the last four days, i've learned stuff about my family from my uncle that has been rather fascinating.  i've learned the history of my dad's chinese name ('cuz my uncle was the one who named him!) and i've heard about lots of interesting foods from their home city that are no longer prepared or consumed.  but the coolest tidbit of info thus far has been that my grandfather (who i never had the chance to meet) used to be a thespian!  he showed my uncle pictures of himself as a youngster, acting on stage.  so it's in the genes!!  :)  how very interesting.

Ask the former generations and find out what their fathers learned, 
for we were born only yesterday and know nothing, and our days on earth are but a shadow.
~Job 8:8-9~

ON YAKS AND PADDED BRAS

it's looking to me like the closer it comes for me to leave, the more "stuff" God is revealing that i need to address. not that everything needs to be solved, but i think it's stuff i haven't acknowledged, stuff i've been trying to ignore.

take the issue of self-esteem. on monday, my friends and i were chatting and one of them pointed out that i may be offered a yak next year (implying a marriage proposal in local terms). immediately, my other friend chimed in, "yeah, what's your price? like how many cattle would you require before you accept the offer?" my reaction? sorry, i'm not for sale. honestly though, i was a little hurt by the question. mostly because i want to believe that i'm more valuable than a herd of cattle (or even a yak!).

which leads me to yesterday, when i went to Pacific Mall with my visiting relatives. while looking at the qipao (traditional women's dresses), my aunt remarked that i'd look good in one but i should get some padding to enhance my figure. again, to be honest, i appreciate that i'm not built like the typical model (very few people are) but i don't need someone to draw attention to my deficits! gah.

anyway, i'm starting to wonder when all this poking and prodding from God is gonna end. i know i definitely prefer comfort and ignorance to this, but i suppose this is all a part of the Refiner's Fire.

sigh.

Daddy, please tell me again that You love me.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
~Romans 8:28~

HEART TRANSPLANT

about a month ago, at Willowcreek, i heard this analogy: sometimes, God has us up on the operating table. we're vulnerable, open and bleeding all over the place. most of the time, when we're there, we want to crawl off the table and hide our sickness. those around us see the mess we're in and are tempted to react by shrinking away. but it's those times that we have to hold each other's hands and encourage each other not to get off the table until the Physician's finished.

this weekend, i was on the operating table. i saw for the first time that my heart, which i had thought was relatively soft and responsive to others, was actually a heart of stone. i saw that at the core of me, i'm a selfish brat. and i saw that God, in His grace and patience, was slowly transforming this stone into flesh. of course, it's a painful process but i'm gonna stay on this table until the transplant is complete.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.
~Ezekiel 36:26~

ACTUALLY, I DID FORGET...

people say that riding a bike is one of those things you never forget how to do. well, either i'm exceptionally forgetful, or the saying is wrong!

this past saturday, i went bike riding for the first time in probably over 13 years and yep, i had to learn how to do it again. i don't really know what i was expecting the experience to be like when my friend suggested that we go bike riding to prep me for my life overseas but i can truly say that it was not the most pleasant of experiences. it was actually quite uncomfortable, humbling and patience-testing. there were a few moments at the beginning when i had to decide to keep trying and really push myself to conquer the task. happily, i fell just once. haha... so i only acquired a sore bum and a very big bruise on my leg. :p

i think this experience taught me a couple things about learning. 1. learning anything new requires determination and effort. but don't give up because it's not impossible. and 2. having a patient friend to ride alongside, encourage and guide you makes the learning process much more bearable.

i guess these are lessons i should keep in mind as i tackle a new language and culture next year. ;)

one last thing: author and speaker John Maxwell believes that a person must keep growing daily. one of the questions he uses to help determine growth is, "when was the last time you did something for the first time?" i think for me, even though it wasn't technically for the first time, learning to ride the bike again was indeed a moment of growth. and one i'm quite happy to have gone through. :)

...let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
~Hebrews 10:25b~

YES, BUT

in celebration of our nations's 137th birthday, our family took a road trip up to Midland, a town up north by Georgian Bay where we'd booked an afternoon cruise around the 30,000 islands. when we set off in the morning, it was nice and bright, a beautiful day. but as we drove, the sky seemed to get darker and darker. we were literally driving away from the clear skies and into cloud covered territory. as i was sitting in the backseat, i asked God, why are you allowing it to rain? it's a vacation day. i was hoping for nice weather. and in the stillness, i heard His reply, it will rain on the journey. the sun will shine when you get there.

of course, God didn't have to listen to my complaints and i really had no right to demand fair weather. but true enough, by the time we boarded the ship, the sky was blue and hardly a cloud was in sight (and as a consequence, i'm a little lobster-esque today ;p ).

the lesson? it will rain on the journey. on this side of eternity, while we're living on this earth, there will be non-ideal conditions and hardships. BUT, the sun will shine when we get there. and that is our hope.

of course, it's yet another piece of evidence that God spoils me. :)

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.
~2 Corinthians 4:17~