WAVES

Tides of surf roll on the sand
Wipes the marks of many hands
Thus the one thing that survives
Bears the truth of many tries

Sand does not give way to waves
Only through the day to day
Steady workings of the wave
Only then are beaches made

Visible this work is not
Trades these waves are never taught
God's the only one who sees
Him alone our waves should please

~Author Unknown

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.

~Galatians 1:10~

TELL ME, DO YOU KNOW LOVE?

Out of all the heartwrenching stories I've heard so far about the survivors of the China earthquake, this one touches me the most. I actually didn't see the photo myself, but my mom told me about it and even in my mind's eye, it's a devestatingly beautiful picture.

Apparently, in one of the rescue efforts, workers found a baby still alive in his mother's lap. The mother had used her body as a shelter to ward off the falling bricks and pieces of debris. In the process, she lost her life. But her baby lived. And somehow, before life slipped away from her, she'd managed to scribble out a note. On a scrap of paper, she'd written, "Son, if someone finds you and you're alive, please know that your mother loves you very much."

I can't even begin to imagine the magnitude and impact this one note will have on the life of this child. I would think that every day of his life would be shaped by the knowledge that his mother gave up her life for him.

And I marvel: if this is what human love is capable of, how much greater is the love of God our Father, who gave His Son for us?

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!
~Matthew 7:11~

(IN)FINITE

We are finite, God is infinite.
Our sins are finite, God's grace is
infinite.

~ Bruxy Cavey

It's so comforting and encouraging to know that there is a limit to the sins, mistakes and failures we can make in one lifetime. And that in contrast, God's grace is limitless.

(On a tangent, did you know that the word "forgiveness" is only mentioned once in the Old Testament? That's the difference Christ makes.)

But with You there is forgiveness; therefore You are feared.
~ Psalm 130:4 ~

I THINK I JUST BROKE MY OWN HEART

I really detest moving. Maybe it's because I'm a deep feeler or a sentimental sap, but letting go of familiar people and things is just really difficult for me.

After lunch today, I decided it was time to take some photos of my set design models (otherwise known as maquettes) and say good-bye to them. So I went downstairs to the basement, retrieved them from their dusty little corner and brought them up into the light where I could get some good pictures of them. Being satisfied with the pictures I took, I went ahead and cleared the set pieces off the "stages" and started ripping apart the walls of the boxes.

I had four of them in total - pretty much all that I had to show for my four years in university. Two of them were particularly well done with lots of minute detail painstakingly formed and painted. One was my graduating project; my thesis, if you will. Hours and hours of time had gone into them. And in a matter of minutes, they'd become a pile of bent foamcore, paper, dried glue and paint.

It wasn't until I threw the last piece into the garbage bag that I was suddenly horrified by what I had done: I had just destroyed my own creation. Grief had never felt that sharp to me as it did in that moment. It was as if my theatre dream died along with those models.

I know maquettes are really minor things in light of eternity. But I really wonder whether God feels that kind of grief when He watches thousands upon thousands of people die, or millions of souls heading to destruction. Perhaps that's why He made the promise to Noah that He would never flood the entire earth again - it's just too painful to destroy one's own work.

And going through this experience, I have greater compassion for those whose homes were demolished by the earthquake and cyclone. How deep their sense of loss must be.

But you, O God, do see trouble and grief; you consider it to take it in hand.
~Psalm 10:14a~

DARING TO DREAM AGAIN

Tim: I think you need some inspiration, Olive. To help you dream again.

Me: Yeah... I dunno. I think I'm afraid to dream. Because I feel like all my past dreams have been laid aside. Like what's the point of dreaming yet another dream if it doesn't come to fruition?

Tim: So do you feel like you've had a choice in it, or that God has taken your dreams away?

Me: Well, I feel like I've been convinced by God of a dream and then He's presented a better choice, so I've chosen to go with that. It's weird I know, like I'm grieving the loss of something even though what I have is better.

[More dialogue. Tears.]

Me: You know, I feel like somehow because these dreams haven't come true, I've failed God. Like I've left some unfinished task on the to-do list.

Tim: You see these dreams as a to-do list?!?!

Me: Yeah, I do. And I think, why go dream another dream when I have these half-started ones yet incomplete?

Tim: Well, you don't seem to have a problem with leaving books unfinished. You've always got several on the go.

Me: Hmmm...

Tim: So maybe it's the same with these dreams. You can have several pages read now and then you might come back to it later. God knows you have a high need for change, so He's helping you meet that need.

Me: =)

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
~Ephesians 3:20-21~