F I Z Z L E . . .

so i woke up this morning with a huge headache and a dull aching pain throughout my body. this is what happens when i push myself too hard. God, in His loving grace inflicts me with something that keeps me home, makes me cancel all appointments and causes me to sleep and sleep and sleep.

a wise friend exhorted me to read Hebrews 4 today - a chapter on entering God's place of rest. oh so convicting. i feel like He's put me back in the right place by His word. i don't want to be like the Israelites who refused to live by faith and thus forfeited the rest that He offered. i want to take hold of God's invitation to rest Today! and i'm so thankful for Jesus, my High Priest, who knew what it was to face the temptation to rely on his own strength rather than live in surrender to the Father.

i know that what i really need to do is allow God to expose the cause of my drivenness. why is it that i feel like i have to run myself dry all the time? who am i trying to please? whose standards am i trying to live up to? what lies am i believing about myself? about God? oh Lord, please set me free.

i also realize how reluctant i am to face my limitations - not only to face them, but to embrace them. God has not wired me to meet people 6 days a week and still thrive. i need to hermit a lot more than i want to accept about myself. and so i ask God to show me how He'd have me serve His people. and i ask Him to show me how to love myself as He does.

i want to have a heart at rest. a heart of faith.

So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who have entered into God’s rest have rested from their labors, just as God did after creating the world. So let us do our best to enter that rest. But if we disobey God, as the people of Israel did, we will fall.
~Hebrews 4:9-11[NLT]~