Wednesday, January 29, 2003

WHY AM I STILL UP?

it's almost 2am and i really should be sleeping but my brain is just thinking thinking thinking... this morning, i woke up and thought to myself, "i really dislike wednesdays, my day is all chopped up into little segments. i have girls cell group, class and fellowship, all spaced out throughout the day. i don't have a decent chunk of time to work on my homework." but in retrospect, i could not have asked for better "interruptions" into my day. 'cuz God knew i needed the encouragement of my fellow brothers and sisters. God knew i needed that extra time of prayer with people who care about me. God knew that if i'd have spent my entire day sitting alone at my drafting table, i would have sunken deeper into a pit of despair and self-pity.

on another note, i've been humbled and pleasantly surprised at the way God's been teaching me through a group of high schoolers that i'm supposed to be "advising." i've been challenged by their level of faith and passion for God. i know i've said this before, but i really think university has jaded me and pushed me into a negative mindset. i want to become a child again!

anyhows, one last thing. tonight, we were talking about apologetics and evangelism at fellowship tonight. and while we were reading the story of the four friends who brought the paralytic to Jesus by lowering him down through the roof (Mark 4), i realized some things i'd never noticed before. a) there were four friends (evangelism is easier when you have a group of people) b) the friends were persistent bringing their friend to Christ c) he was probably ashamed to have his weakness seen (the same way it'll feel awkward when you try to help your friends understand they are sinners in need of God)

k, i really need sleep. Lord God, be my strength. be my rest.

Do not gloat over me, my enemy! Though I have fallen, I will rise.Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light.
~Micah 7:8~
or, borrowing one of my "kids'" translation: "so don't gloat over me, my Weaknesses and Insecurities! though i'm sick and tired of trying, and i'm being dragged down by my worrying, I WILL RISE. though i'm stuck in a rut and i'm at the end of my rope, the LORD WILL BE MY LIGHT and my HOPE and my tutor for life!!"


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