WHY

this morning, i woke up asking myself, "why am i doing this again? why am i packing my bags and moving away from all i've grown up with only to go to a place that makes me uncomfortable, a place so foreign to what i'm used to? why am i tearing my heart to pieces? what is it that drives me to go through this again?"

and in the stillness came the words For Christ's love compels us... just how does this love compel me? surely it is not only a force from behind me - that as i gaze at the cross of Christ, i recognize all that He's done for me and so, out of gratitude i go in obedience. that seems so... almost like a business transaction.

looking deeper, i realize the compelling force of Christ's love is what lays ahead. that Christ stands in front of me, offering me hope and peace and a depth of love i have yet to fully know. and THAT is what compels me. like a child learning to walk, i see the Father beckoning me, arms open wide as i totter in my little steps of faith, always moving forward however hesitantly. why? because i know there's a heart of Love before me. and i know He's there, waiting to enfold me in the warmest embrace i've ever known.

If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ's love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
~1 Corinthians 5:13-15~