MINIATURE MESSENGERS

Exerpted from No Wonder They Call Him Saviour - by Max Lucado.

Before we bid good-bye to those present at the cross, I have one more introduction to make. This introduction is very special.

There was one group in attendance that day [of the crucifixion] whose role was critical. They didn't speak much, but they were there. Few noticed them, but that's not surprising. Their very nature is so silent they are often overlooked. In fact, the gospel writers scarcely game them a reference. But we know they were there. They had to be. They had a job to do.

Yes, this representation did much more than witness hte divine drama; they expressed it. They captured it. They displayed the despair of Peter; they betrayed the guilt of Pilate and unveiled the anguish of Judas. They transmitted John's confusion and translated Mary's compassion.

Their prime role, however, was with that of the Messiah. With utter delicacy and tenderness, they offered relief to his pain and expression to his yearning.

Who am I describing? You may be surprised.

Tears.

Those tiny drops of humanity. Those round, wet balls of fluid that tumble from our eyes, creep down our cheeks and splash on the floor of our hearts. They were there thay day. They are always present at such times. They should be, that's their job. They are miniature messengers; on call twenty-four hours a day to substitute for crippled words. They drip, drop and pour from the corners of our souls, carrying with them the deepest emotions we possess. They tumble down our faces with announcements that range from the most blissful joy to darkest despair.

The principle is simple; when words are most empty, tears are most apt.

A tearstain on a letter says much more than the sum of all its words. A tear falling on a casket says what a spoken farewell never could. What summons a mother's compassion and concern more quickly than a tear on a child's cheek? What gives more support than a sympathetic tear on the face of a friend?

Words failed the day the Saviour was slain. They failed miserably. What words could have been uttered? What phrases could have possibly expressed the feelings of those involved?

That task, my friend, was left for the tears.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle.

You have recorded each one in your book.

~ Psalm 56:8 [NLT] ~

GRIEF AND MOURNING

I learned something new today: grief is not the same as mourning.

Grief is a sudden wave of sadness. To paraphrase C.S. Lewis, you can be walking along, turn the corner, and run smack into it.

Mourning, on the other hand, is like a garment that your soul wears. It's understated but constantly there. And once in a while, you catch glimpses of it.

Sometimes, I wake up these days and feel blue for seemingly no reason. Since I'm just over a month away from moving from the city I've called "home" for my whole 27 years on earth so far, my counselor says my soul is in mourning. And those mornings when I wake up and feel blue, I catch a glimpse of my soul that's been mourning throughout the night.

My counselor also said that grief and mourning are actually invitations to life. I'm not completely sure what that means, but I know Jesus, who is Life, promised comfort for those who mourn.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
~Matthew 5:4 [MSG]~

MY FATHER'S KITCHEN

A recent image that has given me strength is a picture of a banquet table, laden with lots of dishes, platters and bowls. They're filled to overflowing, but not with food. In one vessel, there is "joy", in another, "peace". Another plate has a heap of "strength," another dish has "perspective" and so on.

God is the Dad who has prepared this lavish meal and has called me down to eat with a hearty "sik fan la!" (for those who don't know cantonese, that's like "dinnertime!") I'm free to come and take whatever I need whenever I feel "hungry." I can also come rummage through His kitchen at any time of the day or night. Or if I have friends over, I can feel free to feed them too. This image has been a wonderfully uplifting reminder to me that I have all the resources I need to cope with whatever I'm feeling or facing in the moment. His grace truly IS sufficient.

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare.
~Isaiah 55:2~

THIS ADDICT IS CHECKING INTO REHAB

That's right, I'm a closet addict and I'm coming clean now. It might not be the kind of addiction you're used to hearing about, but it's sapping the life out of me and I need to get out.

I'm an approval addict.

God has exposed this stronghold in my heart and I'm going into a period of rehabilitation. I've been using my writing, my blogs, my updates and newsletters as a secret way of feeding this addiction. I've been trying to satisfy my cravings with praises of people when only the opinion of Lord Himself matters.

This idolatry has to stop.

So I'm going cold turkey until my heart is free from the need to build my worth upon people's opinions about me.

Thanks for sticking with me this far. I have hope that I will be back blogging again someday. I really do love writing and seeing God use it to bless. In the meantime, if God brings me to your mind, please say a prayer for me. I know God will use this time of silence for the good of all of us.

There is a time for everything,
And a season for every activity under heaven.
A time to be silent and a time to speak.
~Ecclesiastes 3:1,7~

THE WEBCAM ANALOGY

Having spent at least 2/3rds of our courtship so far being long-distance, Tim and I have rather enjoyed the wonderful invention of the webcam. Not only do we get to talk to each other (and for free, too, thanks to another wonderful invention called Skype), we get to see each other while we talk. It's as if all those miles and timezones between us melt away.

Almost.

The rare occasions when we've gotten to see each other in person, we realize how much richer the experience is when we're face-to-face, not separated by a screen. We appreciate the other person's being and presence to a fuller extent.

I often think about this and relate it to the passage in 1 Corinthians where Paul talks about seeing God face-to-face. How absolutely glorious it will be when we get to stand in His real and actual presence! How delightful it will be to begin to fully appreciate the fullness of Who He is!

So, if I may paraphrase this passage in today's language, it would be...

Now we see but a fuzzy time-delayed image as over a webcam; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
~1 Corinthians 13:12 [Olive's paraphrase]

WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'VE FORGOTTEN

You know when you've truly forgiven and you're ready to "forget what lies behind" when you can talk about it.
~Pastor Mark Driscoll

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
~Philippans 3:13-14~

LUCKY ME

Last week I had a dream about receiving a red pocket for Chinese New Year (yah, I enjoy getting money ;p)... In my dream, no matter how many times I tried to count how much was in it, I couldn't get my numbers straight. It didn't matter which bill I started to count with, I would get lost partway through and I'd have to start over. In the end, I gave up trying to know how much was in that red pocket.

I think this is a picture of the blessings God gives us. I cannot quantify them, no matter how much I try to count them! And sometimes, His blessings don't appear to be blessings so I miscount.

I also think this dream is symbolic of trying to predict or figure God out. It simply cannot be done.

In the end, my response to God can only be to receive His gifts and His person with gratitude. Because I'm luckier than I'll ever know.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
~Ephesians 3:20-21~