BETWEEN THE PAVEMENT CRACKS

Just to tell you that I love you
Isn't whatyou need to hear right now
Words only last as long as we're talking
But you've drifted away somehow.

Know that I am always with you
Never too far, too far away
When you don't know who you are anymore
That's when you'll hear me say

Let Me walk you home
I will pick your favourite flower
Let Me walk you home
I will show you that you're beautiful
Let Me walk you home
I will hold you close to me
So you can hear my heatbeat
Let Me walk you home.

I'm on the road you walk on
Understanding all of your pain
Let me be the light that guides you
Along every step of the way

I'm there when you stumble
Always reaching out, calling your name
If you would listen to the calm of your heart
That's when you'll hear me say

Let Me walk you home
I will pick your favourite flower
Let Me walk you home
I will show you that you're beautiful
Let Me walk you home
I will hold you close to me
So you can hear my heatbeat
Let Me walk you home.

Let me caress you with the warmth of the sun
And the cool of the breeze
I smile at you through the flowers
And the faces you see
I'll sing through the fountains and streams
And know all of this means I love you
I love you.
~CriticalMass

one thing that stuck me while i was in Japan was the sheer amount of flowers everywhere. many of them i had never seen in Canada. i found so much joy walking around because there was so much colour and beauty. there were flowers of all shapes and sizes - some of the tiny ones were really exquisite! but what was most interesting to me was the fact that there were wildflowers sprouting from between the cracks in the sidewalk.

each time i saw a flower, i would be reminded of God, who loves me so much that He woos me with flowers. if you think about it, God didn't have to make hundreds of flowers individually. He could have easily decided to make one type and left it at that. but because He is the Lover of our souls, He takes the time and care to give us beauty in our world.

Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.
~Luke 12:27~

HAPPY DANCE DAY

angels are partying in heaven and i'm dancing along with them! my grandma decided to believe in Jesus while my dad was visiting her in China!!! i'm not only excited because it means she'll be able to spend eternity with God but also because i'll get to actually know her when we're in heaven! you see, here on earth, i've only seen her a total of four times and even so, i haven't been able to communicate with her since she speaks a different dialect of chinese. so i really don't know my grandma. this past january, our family went back to visit her and i was touched by her remarkable intensity yet humility. she's 97 and life's been hard for her, but she's still so generous and giving. wahhhh! i'm so happy we'll have eternity to talk!! THANKS, GOD!!

i know her decision did not come out of the blue because people have been praying for her for a long time. and now, i just keep praying for the rest of my extended family that they would come to know the love of Christ and experience the joy it is to live with Him every day.

In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.
~Luke 15:10~

TREMOURS

an email i received from my mom while i was in Japan:
hi nui nui,
i'm glad to hear that you are ok. i know who makes earthquakes and who makes you.
love,
mom

i thank God for a mother who knows that her job is not to worry about her daughter, but rather to trust in the One who gave her life in the first place.

during our first monday in Yamagata, i experienced my first earthquake. it turned out to be 4-point-something on the richter scale. [correction: it was a 7 on the richter scale, but it was centered in the ocean so we felt it less strongly.] since i'd never been through one before, i found it a fascinating sensation. but what was even more fascinating was the way God used the earthquake to show His sovereignty.

that night, God not only shook the ground, but the hearts of some of the Japanese people as well. some of my teammates were stuck in the subway for two hours, during which they were able to bring joy and peace to the hearts of the people around them by talking to them and playing games. our team in Yamagata was able to share the gospel with a number of students that night. and perhaps the most amusing of all, some of my other teammates had just finished singing "show Your power, O Lord our God!" when the earth literally shook.

having the earth shift beneath your feet is a disconcerting feeling. but what a contrast it is to the steadfast faithfulness of God, whose promises never fail!

God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
~Psalm 46:1-3~

TRAIN CROSSING

while our team was heading to Yamagata (a neighbouring city), we passed a train crossing. the bars were down and people were all lined up in their vehicles, waiting for the train to pass and the signals to stop flashing so that they could carry on with the rest of their lives. it seemed like a normal picture to me until i realized something: i was sitting on that train that those people were waiting for! the strangeness of seeing it from the other side was sort of eerie.

i guess that's how it is sometimes with our lives. sometimes, we look at people and pity them for seeming to be stuck where they are in their spiritual journeys. or, we get distressed that people aren't getting closer to Christ. and then God shows us that they're not moving because we're in the way!

anyway, it's a short one today. but trust me, if you're ever in a train and you pass a crossing where people are waiting for you, it's a very weird sensation.

"Woe to you experts in the law, because you have taken away the key to knowledge. You yourselves have not entered, and you have hindered those who were entering."
~Luke 11:52~

LEGACY

being home and slightly anti-social, i've been spending a lot of time chatting with my mom. tonight, she told me all about her side of the family. i was surprised and amazed to find out that my grandfather had lived in japan for a while, that he had been a judge in china and that after the communists took over, he fled to hong kong, where he wrote books teaching people the japanese language. i also found out that my grandfather had actually been sent to japan by china as a group of elite students to study there. and other than japanese, he was also fluent in english, and he studied german and russian. it turns out that my mother's side of the family was intellectually brilliant.

last year, while talking to my father, i learned that my dad's side of the family was very skilled in business. my grandfather on my dad's side owned a huge business in thailand, which my uncles took over.

and then i thought, here were two huge families, both very successful in the worlds' eyes, meeting at my parents, both the youngest of their families, and boiling down to me. while i'm a little overwhelmed and honoured to have such established family histories, it occurred to me that even though i have no super intellect or extreme money (or any money, really), what i possess is far greater than all of their legacy combined. because what i own is spiritual wealth, which is eternal and unfading in glory. my one grandfather's books have all been lost now and my other grandfather's riches will lose its value, but what i have now in Jesus Christ will last forever.

on a side note, finding out about my family's link with the japanese people is amusing because in it, i can trace the finger of God and how He prepared me to go there. my ties with japan began way before i was ever born!

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I honour You enough?
To make a mark on things
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace
Who blessed You unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy
~Nichole Nordeman, Legacy

All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
~Psalm 139:16~

OPEN HAND

praise God, i'm safely home!!! after forty days in Japan and five wonderful days in Vancouver, i finally got to sleep in my own comfy bed last night. :>

yesterday, my mom asked me to describe this trip in one sentence. after thinking about it for a bit, i came up with this: Life with Jesus is an adventure! i'll expand on the idea in future postings, but i'll leave this thought for the time being.

right now, God's main lesson to me is that God doesn't look at what i do for Him, but rather who i am in Him through Jesus Christ. because i believe in Jesus, i have the freedom to be myself before God, weak and broken, just as i am. but on the flip side, because i believe in Jesus, i also have the victory over my sin - because when God looks at me, He sees the perfection of Christ instead of the sinfulness of my own heart! so as i live my life, i do not have to live in fear of anything - whether it be people's opinions, failure or trying circumstances. i can walk in boldness and confidence because i belong to Jesus. a few days ago, i asked God to show me what the gospel meant to me in my life and this is what i've come to understand. so now, as i face a summer of uncertainty (since i have no job yet and many other things are still unsettled), i face it with joy and hope. because what i do is not as important as who i am. and i know Whose i am.

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father."
~Romans 8:15~

ONE DAY

T-1week until i leave japan... and i finally have time to post something again!

one thing that has struck me while i've been here is the beauty of worshipping with people of other nations. at urbana three years ago, i experienced something like it, but here, in japan, i've been attending a japanese church so everything has been in japanese. learning to sing worship songs like Lord I Lift Your Name On High and I Could Sing Of Your Love Forever in japanese or simply just listening reminded me of just how big our God is. and God has blessed me with opportunities to actually sing as part of joint canadian/japanese worship teams! it's such an awesome feeling that it only makes me thirst for heaven all the more. this morning was our last service at our church and i praise God for the chance to pray with my sisters here before leaving. it gives me comfort knowing that our Father is bigger than cities or countries or continents and that He will take care of each of us no matter where we are in the world. it also gives me much joy knowing that our Sayonara today is not good-bye forever because eternity will be spent in each other and in God's wonderous company in worship!

Oh Lord, please have mercy on the people of the nations who do not know you yet! what glory it will be when people of all tribes and tongues will join together in praises of Your name!

And I, because of their actions and their imaginations, am about to come and gather all nations and tongues, and they will come and see my glory.
~Isaiah 66:18~